


Funky Happenings with the Fox Family

by dobbypussypopper



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Also the early chapters are kinda bad and hard to read sometimes, F/F, F/M, Group chat, M/M, T rating for language, Texting, The Trojans don't come in until later im so sorry, andrew and neil keep leaving the group, anyway this is basically a bunch of dumbass gays saying a bunch of dumbass shit, excessively calling kev a bitch, how the fuck do you tag, neil being his dumbass self, this is a whole damn mess tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2019-07-12 10:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 27,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15993401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dobbypussypopper/pseuds/dobbypussypopper
Summary: naughtygayweedcrime: did I rlly just see neil say wokenaughtygayweedcrime: what a surreal timeline we live indumbfool: allison is trying to teach me how to meme so I can get hipnaughtygayweedcrime: bless your poor souldavidwymack: sometimes I regret livingdavidwymack has muted exyllent, damnwilds, + 7 others for 30 minutes





	1. Chapter 1

_**davidwymack** has added **exyllent** , **damnwilds** , and 7 others to the group_

**davidwymack** : I made this so I can get announcements to all of you quicker but I have a feeling I will live to regret it

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : h

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : hewwo??

 **davidwymack** : god dammit I knew you were gonna say that but I really hoped you wouldnt

_**thebetterminyard** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has added **thebetterminyard** to the group_

**damnwilds** : no freshman?

 **davidwymack** : what, you think I want a murder on my hands? They havent earned it yet.

 **bibiceps** : haha sweet that means we can say swears

 **bibiceps** : shit

 **bibiceps** : damn

 **bibiceps** : hell

 **itsyaboyd** : no wait neil is here

 **dumbfool** : fuck

 **itsyaboyd** : who taught him that

 **itsyaboyd** : was it andrew

 **dumbfool** : oh you know

 **thebetterminyard** : why am I here

_**thebetterminyard** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has added **thebetterminyard** to the group_

**thebetterminyard** : neil

 **dumbfool** : :))

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : wow I've never seen neil OR andrew type this much

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**thebetterminyard** has added **dumbfool** to the group_

**thebetterminyard** : if I have to suffer so do you

 **exyllent** : didnt coach say this was for announcements and important things

 **davidwymack** : yes

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : yes but counterargument:

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : did anyone really plan on listening to that

 **exyllent** : yes

 **bibiceps** : no

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**naughtygayweedcrime** : like did u rlly think that would work tho

 **exyllent** : no but I sure was hoping

 **knifelesbian** : off topic but I made a bunch of cakes last night bc u know 3am mood but there is literally no way I can eat all of this do u guys want some

 **knifelesbian** : wait stupid question of course u do

 **damnwilds** : speaking of cake

 **damnwilds** : matt is a cake

 **damnwilds** : a god damn BEEF cake

 **itsyaboyd** : aw babe

 **itsyaboyd** : u all think I'm the beef cake but andrew is fuckin stacked

 **itsyaboyd** : the beefiest cake

_**thebetterminyard** has left the group_

_**itsyaboyd** has added **thebetterminyard** to the group_

**itsyaboyd** : u cant leave andrew u gotta accept ur beefcakeyness

 **thebetterminyard** : sometimes I wake up and im like damn I rlly dont think today will be that bad but god I was wrong huh

_**dumbfool** has changed **thebetterminyard** 's name to **thebeefiestcake**_

**thebeefiestcake** : not you too,,,

 **dumbfool** : listen

 **dumbfool** : I've seen how much you can lift

 **dumbfool** : or we can call you quadzilla

 **thebeefiestcake** : absolutely not

 **thebeefiestcake** : how do I change my name

 **dumbfool** : oh you know

 **thebeefiestcake** : neil

 **thebeefiestcake** : neil I will tell them all about that time you burned aarons hoodie bc u thought it was mine when you stole it and you were too awkward to give it back to him

_**dumbfool** has changed **thebeefiestcake** 's name to **thebetterminyard**_

**thestraightminyard** : wait what

 **dumbfool** : hzuh

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**thestraightminyard** has added **dumbfool** to the group_

**thestraightminyard** : u can leave the group but u cant fuckin leave the truth

 **thestraightminyard** : bruh I literally know where you live anyway??

 **thestraightminyard** : like what did you think that would accomplish

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : damn keeping up w the kardashians whom?

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : they have NOTHING on this minyard mess

 **bibiceps** : hey so are we all just going to collectively ignore quadzilla or what

 **dumbfool** : god I hope so

 **itsyaboyd** : absolutely not

 **itsyaboyd** : neil

 **itsyaboyd** : neil. quadzilla?

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**itsyaboyd** has added **dumbfool** to the group_

**dumbfool** : lord grant me strength so I can break matts beautiful face

 **itsyaboyd** : okay but am I really any worse than kevin "barefoot in public bathroom" day?

 **exyllent** : HEY

 **exyllent** : it was ONE time

 **exyllent** : and I was in a HURRY

 **bibiceps** : wait he what

 **bibiceps** : he fucking WHAT

 **exyllent** : listen I didnt think it was "roast kevin" day but I guess you're all a bunch of fake bitches

 **exyllent** : fine well roast me all you want but I hope you all realize that I have dirt on ALL of you

 **exyllent** : except renee, the only valid one here

 **knifelesbian** : what can I say I really am just the best one here

 **bibiceps** : oh 100% can confirm

 **knifelesbian** : I also have dirt on (actually) everyone here so really who's the real winner

 **exyllent** : if you have dirt on everyone then stop exposing me and expose someone else instead ://

 **knifelesbian** : :)

 **knifelesbian** : one time aaron got really drunk and I heard him say "why am I dating neil I dont even like him?"

_**thestraightminyard** has left the group_

_**knifelesbian** has added **thestraightminyard** to the group_

**knifelesbian** : oh but you cant leave, not before I expose everyone else >:3c

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : h

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : did renee just do a furry emoticon

 **knifelesbian** : awfully bold of you to furshame me when I've seen your internet history :/

 **knifelesbian** : all the single furries 10 hour loop? cmon nicky ://

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : liSTEN,,

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : I didnt come here to get bullied

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : home of phobia....

 **bibiceps** : are you really even a true gay if you listen to furries over our queen beyonce?

 **dumbfool** : yeah nicky get woke

 **dumbfool** : allison did I use that correctly

 **itsyaboyd** : not even close little dude but it was a good try

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : did I rlly just see neil say woke

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : what a surreal timeline we live in

 **dumbfool** : allison is trying to teach me how to meme so I can get hip

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : bless your poor soul

 **davidwymack** : sometimes I regret living

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent** , **damnwilds** , + 7 others for 30 minutes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bitch may not be able to write for shit but man do I love group chat fics. yeah its ooc but tbh this is my city now and these are all canon because I said so. Anyway just in case u didnt figure it out:
> 
> Kevin=exyllent  
> Dan=dammwilds  
> Renee=knifelesbian  
> Andrew=thebetterminyard  
> Aaron=thestraightminyard  
> Neil=dumbfool  
> Matt=itsyaboyd  
> Allison=bibiceps  
> Nicky=naughtygayweedcrime
> 
> Uh kudos/comments are appreciated this is literally the only thing I've ever written and I need motivation to write more. bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thebetterminyard: hey kev
> 
>  
> 
> exyllent: ...
> 
>  
> 
> exyllent: what
> 
>  
> 
> thebetterminyard: bitch

**bibiceps** : hey this is important does anyone have that video of kevin drunk doing the chicken dance

**bibiceps** : y'know the one where wymack walks in halfway through and then immediately walks back out

**bibiceps** : and at the end kevin falls over

**exyllent** : HEY

**exyllent** : allison you said youd delete that 

**bibiceps** : yeah I did but I sent it to everyone else before I did in case I needed it again

**bibiceps** : which I do

**damnwilds** : oh I have it

**knifelesbian** : as do I

**exyllent** : what the fuck

**exyllent** : fake bitches

**dumbfool** : I have it too 

**thebetterminyard** : I like watching it when kevin tries to be intimidating because it shows his true nature

**thebetterminyard** : which is dumb bitch

**exyllent** : you guys arent allowed at night practice anymore

**exyllent** : andrew you're literally dating the dumbest bitch here??

**thebetterminyard** : no his name CLEARLY says dumb FOOL

**thebetterminyard** : YOU, however, are a dumb BITCH

**thebetterminyard** : you are a bitch kev

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**thebetterminyard** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**thebetterminyard** : hey kev

**exyllent** : ...

**exyllent** : what

**thebetterminyard** : bitch

_**exyllent** has left the chat_

_**bibiceps** has added **exyllent** to the group _

**bibiceps** : cmon kevin dont be a bitch

**dumbfool** : damn when kev tries calling me dumb but doesnt even know the difference between an dumb bitch and a dumb fool

**damnwilds** : neil

**damnwilds** : an dumb bitch

**damnwilds** : an

  _ **dumbfool** has left the group_  

_**damnwilds** has added **dumbfool** to the group _

**dumbfool** : damn guess I really am the dumbest fool here :/

**damnwilds** : neil

**damnwilds** : are you really surprised

**damnwilds** : yesterday I asked you what time it was and you threw your watch on the ground and stomped on it and said it was broken

**damnwilds** : rather than just tell me you cant read clocks

**dumbfool** : huH WHAT

**dumbfool** : I CAN READ CLOCKS JUST FINE THANK YOU VERY MUCH

**dumbfool** : TIME? LOVE HER

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

**damnwilds** : i'm,,

**damnwilds** : who's gonna add him back

_**thebetterminyard** has added **dumbfool** to the group _

**thebetterminyard** : damn and you make fun of me bc I cant swim

**thebetterminyard** : fuck wait 

_**thebetterminyard** has left the group _

**naughtygayweedcrime** : GOGKFJXHSHXJSHXHSIZHFJ 

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has added **thebetterminyard** to the group_  

**naughtygayweedcrime** : YOU JUST CLOWNED YOURSELF BRO

**thebetterminyard** : nicky keep in mind that I DO in fact carry several knives that I can and will use

**exyllent** : it's true he almost cut my balls off once bc I didnt want you guys going to the mountains 

**knifelesbian** : to be fair I think anyone wouldve cut your balls off for that

**knifelesbian** : we all wanted to go so

**exyllent** : idk why you all would want to go to a cabin when the exy court is literally right here

**bibiceps** : kevin do you know how much of a bitch you sound like

_**exyllent** has left the group_  

_**bibiceps** has added **exyllent** to the group_  

**exyllent** : how come you guys keep bullying me I'm literally better than all of you

**thestraightminyard** : you know who says stuff like that 

**thestraightminyard** : bitches

**exyllent** : I wont take this from someone who's 5 feet even

**thestraightminyard** : you say and yet andrew roasts your whole shit all the time and he literally looks identical to me 

**dumbfool** : no andrew is actually attractive ://

**thestraightminyard** : I despise you

**dumbfool** : andrew hes coming for ur lines too 

**thebetterminyard** : he could never catch up to me I'm just the better minyard

**thestraightminyard** : that's a lie I only have this user bc you threatened to cut my balls off 

**thebetterminyard** : yeah bc I'm better

**thestraightminyard** : i

**thestraightminyard** : yeah okay I guess that's fair

**thebetterminyard** : also ur straight so that automatically makes you the worst

**thestraightminyard** : I feel oppressed

**thebetterminyard** : me, a known cishetphobe

**knifelesbian** : rt

**bibiceps** : rt 

**exyllent** : rt

**naughtygayweedcrime** : rt 

**dumbfool** : rt 

**damnwilds** : rt 

**itsyaboyd** : rt 

**thestraightminyard** : :/

**exyllent** : haha who's the bitch now

**thestraightminyard** : still you

**thebetterminyard** : still kevin

**dumbfool** : kev

**bibiceps** : kevin

**naughtygayweedcrime** : kevin

**knifelesbian** : kevin

**damnwilds** : kevin

**itsyaboyd** : kevin

_**exyllent** has left the group_  

_**dumbfool** has added **exyllent** to the group _

**dumbfool** : kev you know who leaves group chats? 

**dumbfool** : bitches

**exyllent** : neil you've literally left like 4 times

**dumbfool** : hey this isnt about me

**dumbfool** : bitch

**naughtygayweedcrime** : am I the only one who thinks it's weird seeing neil say bitch

**damnwilds** : neil who taught you to swear :/

**dumbfool** : I'm 20?? I know what the fuck word means??

**bibiceps** : the fuck word huh

**dumbfool** : shut up allison I have a picture of you in jorts

**knifelesbian** : oh?

**knifelesbian** : the plot thickens.....

**bibiceps** : that's a lie

**bibiceps** : I would NEVER

**dumbfool** : you were really drunk 

**bibiceps** : neil this is betrayal

**bibiceps** : this is so unfair you have all the drunken dirt on everyone 

**bibiceps** : you're always sober while we're busy making damn fools of ourselves 

**dumbfool** : :))

**dumbfool** : one time andrew started singing and dancing the entirety of high school musical

**bibiceps** : HKRJEJXJDHXHW MOOD

**thebetterminyard** : neil

**naughtygayweedcrime** : A MESSAGE SENT 30 SECONDS BEFORE DISASTER

**naughtygayweedcrime** : damn rip neil ig

**naughtygayweedcrime** : f

**bibiceps** : f

**exyllent** : f

**damnwilds** : f

**knifelesbian** : f

**itsyaboyd** : f

**thestraightminyard** : ha

**naughtygayweedcrime** : aaron 

**thestraightminyard** : no

**naughtygayweedcrime** : aaron you have to

**thestraightminyard** : no I dont like him

**naughtygayweedcrime** : aaron 

**thestraightminyard** : hhhh

**thestraightminyard** : f

**naughtygayweedcrime** : HELL YEAH

**naughtygayweedcrime** : fr tho neil you good :eyes:

**bibiceps** : oh my fuckin god hes fuckin dead

**itsyaboyd** : damn pour one out for our fallen soldier 

**exyllent** : oh hes all good he just crawled up on top of the fridge and andrew cant reach him

**itsyaboyd** : damn yall wild

**damnwilds** : no I'm wilds

**itsyaboyd** : babe ily but I'm blocking you for that 

**damnwilds** : :)

**bibiceps** : isnt neil like. 3 inches taller than andrew

**bibiceps** : how can neil get up there but not andrew

**bibiceps** : in fact how did neil get up there in the first place

**dumbfool** : oh you know

**dumbfool** : when you're as stupid as me and have no filter you get used to crawling shit and running away

**dumbfool** : oh FUCK

**dumbfool** : HES EATING ALL MY FRUIT SNACKS

**dumbfool** : BITCH!!

**damnwilds** : no that's kevin

**exyllent** : I am NOT a bitch!!!

**davidwymack** : hey kev?

**exyllent** : yeah? 

**davidwymack** : bitch

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent** , **damnwilds** , + 7 others for 15 minutes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vote below is kevin a bitch?  
> Also this isnt kevin hate I just think its fucking funny to piss him off.  
> Kudos/comments are appreciated and you can bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bibiceps: FUKCINGKS JFLKSJDFLKSJDF
> 
> bibiceps: neil holy SHIT
> 
> itsyaboyd: neil you bald son of a bitch
> 
> itsyaboyd: youve finally done it
> 
> itsyaboyd: you broke allison

* * *

**thestraightminyard** : h,holy shIT guy s, ,,,

**thestraightminyard** : am I andtews fuckigng straightsona???

**damnwilds** : aaron its 3 in the damn morning??

**naughtygayweedcrime** : yeag he s suuuuuuper drukn,,,

**naughtygayweedcrime** : so am I

**naughtygayweedcrime** : and kebin

**naughtygayweedcrime** : amd andrew

**naughtygayweedcrime** : and sOmehow anfrew got nEil to ddrink wijt us so he,s fukcrd up too

**exyllent** : am not drunk OR a bitch nikcy 

**dumbfool** : ANDY LOoK AT HTE MEEM I FOUDN

**dumbfool** : o fukc this istn privatw mesasges

**thebetterminyard** : yuo area danm FOOL

**naughtygayweedcrime** : NEiL WHY DO U AHVE MONION MEMES

**bibiceps** : this is fucking gold

**bibiceps** : for once im sober and get to see neils drunk embarassments

**itsyaboyd** : aw relationship goals

**damnwilds** : if you ever send me a minion meme i WILL break up with you

**thebetterminyard** : afwully bold of yuo to ass ume im not gonba brea k up with neil

**dumbfool:** :((

**dumbfool** : bUt u snet ME a m,inion memm befoer

_**thebetterminyard** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has added **thebetterminyard** to the group_

**dumbfool** : anDy u cant lEAve  me :(

**dumbfool:** tHey will maKe f un of me rrelentlesslt

**exyllent** : n,eil we mkae fun of yuo anywat

**dumbfool** : at leASt i aiNT a BICTH!

**exyllent** : i aam NOT a bitCh neil

**exyllent** : coulsd a btich do THIS???

**dumbfool** : do waht kev??

**bibiceps** : kevin what cant a bitch do

**thestraightminyard** : HA he pASsed ou t,, ,

**bibiceps** : f

**dumbfool** : f

**thebetterminyard** : f

**itsyaboyd** : f

**knifelesbian** : f

**naughtygayweedcrime** : F

**naughtygayweedcrime** : ca,n we draW dikcs on hi s face???????

**bibiceps** : HELL yeah we can

**dumbfool** : allsion are u drukn too???

**bibiceps** : no lol i just like fucking w kevin

**thebetterminyard** : i tHikn tahts the oNLy time we,ll ever agRee

**dumbfool** : OH i KNow waht will f,uck wiht him

_**dumbfool** has changed **exyllent** 's name to **btich**_

_**thebetterminyard** has changed **btich'** s name to **bitch**_

**thebetterminyard** : leArn tto spe,ll yuo fuckening idiot

**dumbfool** : YOU leanr ho w to sppell yu bfufoon,,,

**damnwilds** : damn so they flirt when theyre drunk too huh

**naughtygayweedcrime** : sshHHH dAn,,, , andtew has knIVeS,,

**damnwilds** : yeah no offence but he cant even spell fucking which is like his favorite word

**damnwilds** : so i have a feeling he would just trip on the knife

**dumbfool** : GUY,S!!!!

**dumbfool** : i jsut fouNd a botlte of gl,UE

**dumbfool** : shOUld i dtink it???

**damnwilds** : neil WHY would you do that

**dumbfool** : idk

**dumbfool** : why not

**bibiceps** : i just want everyone to know that im screenshotting literally all of this

**knifelesbian** : alli you act like youve never seen them drunk before

**bibiceps** : oh i have

**bibiceps** : im just always drunk too

**bibiceps** : now im fully sober and make fun of all of them tomorrow

**knifelesbian** : dont you make fun of them anyway

**bibiceps** : okay tbh yeah

**bibiceps** : but i cant believe neil uses minion memes

**bibiceps** : all this time trying to teach him and he goes and betrays me with minion ://

**knifelesbian** : didnt he say woke once

**bibiceps** : yeah and it was fucking funny

**bibiceps** : hey neil what else have i taught you?

**dumbfool** : wahts gucci in hte lit bae fam bro???

**bibiceps** : SLDJFLSDJFLSDJFLKDJFS

**bibiceps** : that is ABSOLUTELY not at ALL what i taught you hokgkjlblhlkgl

**bibiceps** : thank you neil you are a gift that keeps that keeps on giving

**itsyaboyd** : neil you precious baby boy,,,,,

**itsyaboyd** : what other minions have you got buddy?

**bibiceps** : matt why

**itsyaboyd** : im just trying to be a supportive friend allison

**dumbfool** : OH!!!!!!!!

**dumbfool** : I LVOE THEeS LITTEL GUYS!!!!!!!

**thebetterminyard** : i liteally deSPise yuo,,, ,,

**bibiceps** : i agree 

**bibiceps** : this fucking sucks

**dumbfool** : :((

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**itsyaboyd** has added **dumbfool** to the group_

**itsyaboyd** : i think ur memes are good neil :)

**knifelesbian** : me too :)

**knifelesbian** : personal fan of the beesechuger one

**bibiceps** : sorry renee im breaking up with you

**bibiceps** : i cant have you supporting minion memes ://

**knifelesbian** : babe hes an emotional drunk just say you like his memes

**knifelesbian** : crying neil is something i havent and dont ever want to see ://

**bibiceps** :.....

**bibiceps** : neil ur memes are acceptable

**dumbfool** : !!!!!

**dumbfool** : wwow allsiON taht relaly SnATChES my w,ig

**bibiceps** : FUKCINGKS JFLKSJDFLKSJDF

**bibiceps** : neil holy SHIT

**itsyaboyd** : neil you bald son of a bitch

**itsyaboyd** : youve finally done it

**itsyaboyd** : you broke allison

**dumbfool** : i BrOKE h,er????

**dumbfool** : is sHe oka,y???????

**itsyaboyd** : yeah shes fine she died tho ://

**dumbfool** : shEs dea,d?????

**bibiceps** : god not yet but the way tonight is going hopefully soon

**dumbfool** : allinOS!!!!

**dumbfool** : did i sn,atCh yuor wiG???

**bibiceps** : JSLDKFJLKSDFJSLDF

**bibiceps** : WE HAVE TO GET NEIL DRUNK MORE OFTEN HOLY SHIT

**naughtygayweedcrime** : fOr som,one taHt nevre drikns

**naughtygayweedcrime** : nEil ca,n hadnle alOT of alchol,, ,,

**dumbfool** : yeag, my momm didTn rAisE a Bi,TCJ!

**dumbfool** : unliKe KeBINS!!!

**dumbfool** : hhhahahhah he paSSed ou,t liek a loSEr

**thebetterminyard** : nikcy diD yuo d,draw diCKs on hiS f ace??

**naughtygayweedcrime** : yO BeT YUO,R ASS I DID,, ,,,,

**naughtygayweedcrime** : allliSion h,elped 

**bibiceps** : haha yeah hes gonna know exactly who drew them

**bibiceps** : he has classes tomorrow too so rip him in lmao

**damnwilds** : f

**itsyaboyd** : f

**knifelesbian** : f

**naughtygayweedcrime** : F

**thestraightminyard** : f

**thebetterminyard** : f

**dumbfool** : f

**dumbfool** : f is, fOr bit,ch!

**thebetterminyard** : nno yOu id,iot bicth doEStn s,tart w F

**thebetterminyard** : F is fOr f,ool 

**dumbfool** : nO f,oOl is ME u weE w Ee Brian's

_**thebetterminyard** has left the group _

_**dumbfool** has added **thebetterminyard** to the group_

**dumbfool** : yoU caTn l,eave beCUz i,m moRE bet,ter aT wor ds tHAn yuo and y,, ,, ,,,

**davidwymack** : it is literally 4:30 in the damn morning if you shits dont go to sleep I'm signing you up for marathons

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent** , **damnwilds** , + 7 others for 2 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally only wrote the drunk chapter so I could have neil send minions  
> Which by the way I figured out how to add pics which means my dumbassery can now go above and beyond  
> Anyway kudos/comments are appreciated and you can bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumbfool: anyway you all call me dumb but you literally cant say shit to me I punched rat boy in the face and trash talked him on live tv so ://
> 
> bibiceps: this is true
> 
> exyllent: and you're saying that wasnt the dumbest possible shit you couldve done??
> 
> bibiceps: this is also true
> 
> dumbfool has left the group

**bitch** : hello I'd like to know why there are dicks on my face

 **bitch** : and also why is my name bitch wtf??

_**bitch** has changed their name to **exyllent**_

**exyllent** : will calling me a bitch ever get old

 **bibiceps** : with the way you react to it? Nope

 **bibiceps** : also you're welcome for the dicks

 **bibiceps** : courtesy of me and nicky

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : I have an excuse

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : I was drunk

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : allison on the other had was completely sober

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : also u passed out like a bitch lol

 **exyllent** : nicky youd better be glad you arent stil in the same room as me

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : god I am

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : matt doesnt leave alcohol bottles everywhere

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : or never stfu about exy

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : or pass out on the floor all the time

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : or bully me ://

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : also he gives good hugs

 **itsyaboyd** : :)

 **itsyaboyd** : my muscles big soft

 **exyllent** : okay we get it I'm a fucking garbage dumpster of a human being

 **exyllent** : but I dont draw dicks on my friends faces ://

 **exyllent** : that's the bro code dude

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : well where was the bro code when when I asked you to pick up ice cream on your way home from night practice??

 **exyllent** : all you do is eat ice cream nicky

 **exyllent** : fuck ice cream lives

 **exyllent** : in this house we eat kale like real men

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : I'm crying thats the worst thing you've ever said to me

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : at least I'm not as bad as andrew 

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : pretty sure he doesnt even know what a vegetable is ://

 **thebetterminyard** : hey fuck you nicky

 **thebetterminyard** : you dont live with kevin without being forced to drink one of his fucking kale smoothies

 **exyllent** : hey they're good :(

 **thebetterminyard** : you know who drinks them?

 **exyllent** : andrew dont

 **thebetterminyard** : bitches.

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**exyllent** : god I fucking hate all of you

 **exyllent** : except renee shes cool

 **exyllent** : and the only one who hasnt called me a bitch

 **knifelesbian** : allison says that I'm not legally allowed to call you one

 **knifelesbian** : but just bc I havent called you one doesnt mean you arent one

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : damn u even got called a bitch by renee

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : that's next level bitchery tbh

_**exyllent** has left the group _

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**exyllent** : please let me escape this hell

 **thebetterminyard** : me and neil have been trying for days

 **thebetterminyard** : it won't fuckin work

 **thebetterminyard** : the bastards just keep adding me back in

 **dumbfool** : guys remember when you bought me a phone last year and I said I'd only use it for emergencies?

 **dumbfool** : I dont think you do because you're keeping me in this damn group chat and never shut the fuck up

 **bibiceps** : hey at least we dont send minion memes at 3am

 **dumbfool** : I dont do that???

 **dumbfool** : wait fuck

 **dumbfool** : I've made a damn fool of myself 

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**itsyaboyd** has added **dumbfool** to the group_

**itsyaboyd** : neil it's okay I liked your memes

 **dumbfool** : you literally only said that to be nice

 **dumbfool** : its not my fault I am quote from andrew "dumb as fucking rocks. literally theres nothing up there"

 **dumbfool** : see the minions make sense bc they say funny things on them

 **dumbfool** : how the fuck is woke funny??

 **dumbfool** : like if you're awake to type something then you literally are woke?

_**thebetterminyard** has changed their name to **morosexual**_

**bibiceps** : I would like to point out the fact that neil mentioned wig snatching not once but twice while drunk

 **dumbfool** : I would like to point out I still have no fucking idea what it means

 **bibiceps** : oh sweetie we know

 **dumbfool** : allison is a bad meme teacher

 **dumbfool** : maybe nicky could help

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : literally this is the best day of my fucking life thank you so much neil

 **damnwilds** : are we just ignoring how andrew changed his name to morosexual

 **bibiceps** : oh we been knew 

 **bibiceps** : anyone dating neil would have to be morosexual due to the pure dumbassery that comes out of his mouth daily

 **morosexual** : I am a god damn fool is what I am

 **dumbfool** : you all call me dumb but I'm literally a math major ://

 **dumbfool** : also I'd say I have a pretty valid reason to not know memes?

 **dumbfool** : oh and I know like 5 languages almost fluently??

 **morosexual** : neil

 **morosexual** : yesterday one of the freshmen told you they were ambidextrous and you said "oh tight, love who you love" 

 **bibiceps** : GKDHSIXJDHXHSHZ

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**morosexual** has added **dumbfool** to the group _

**dumbfool** : please release me from this prison we call life

 **itsyaboyd** : neil you beautiful dumbass,,,,

 **itsyaboyd** : ily but ur dumb as hell bro

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : yeah you literally didnt think we were friends after like a year of knowing us??

 **exyllent** : also we know you cant read clocks dude 

 **exyllent** : like we know it you dont need to keep pretending you do

 **dumbfool** : actually I CAN read clocks thank you very much

 **dumbfool** : and also shut up kev

 **dumbfool** : at least I ain't a bitch

 **bibiceps** : damn you just got owned by a dumbass

 **dumbfool** : anyway you all call me dumb but you literally cant say shit to me I punched rat boy in the face and trash talked him on live tv so ://

 **bibiceps** : this is true

 **exyllent** : and you're saying that wasnt the dumbest possible shit you couldve done??

 **bibiceps** : this is also true

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**bibiceps** has added **dumbfool** to the group _

**bibiceps** : oh no sweetie :)

 **dumbfool** : I fucking hate all of you

 **dumbfool** : let me leave this hell

 **morosexual** : do you think if we just changed our numbers we could leave

 **dumbfool** : oh nicky would find them out somehow

 **dumbfool** : that man lives for drama I have no doubt in my mind he will make us stay

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : aw neil you know me so well

 **dumbfool** : god yeah and I really wish I didnt

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : okay well if you didnt know me you wouldnt know andrew and where would you be then

 **dumbfool** : dead, probably

 **dumbfool** : which at the moment is sounding like the better option

 **morosexual** : awfully bold of you to assume I wont kill you right now

 **dumbfool** : I would thank you if you did

 **bibiceps** : damn yalls flirting is wack ://

 **bibiceps** : renee what would you do if I killed you on the spot?

 **knifelesbian** : aaaaaaw its cute that you think youd be able to

 **bibiceps** : you know what

 **bibiceps** : your absolutely right and I am a damn FOOL

 **knifelesbian** : not as much of a fool as neil ://

 **bibiceps** : NEIL

 **bibiceps** : BRO YOU JUST GOT OWNED 

 **dumbfool** :

**damnwilds** : holy shit did neil just use a meme correctly?

 **dumbfool** : did I

 **dumbfool** : who's dumb now?

 **thestraightminyard** : god why does my brother like you

 **dumbfool** : I ask my self the same question every day

 **morosexual** : I ask myself the same question every day 

 **dumbfool** : wow same message

 **itsyaboyd** : haha nice

 **itsyaboyd** : me and dan are also so close we can finish eachothers

 **damnwilds** : eachothers what

 **damnwilds** : OH SENTENCES

 **dumbfool** : oh look who's dumb now ://

 **exyllent** : still you

 **dumbfool** : shut up bitch

 **damnwilds** : haha bitch

 **davidwymack** : I hate waking up every day and having to read this buffoonery

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent** , **damnwilds** , + 7 others for 1 hour_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long compared to the last three I ran out of jokes fjchxhdh any my birthday is in like 10 minutes so this is a fun gift to myself since I love getting validation  
> Also sorry for the lack of aaron, renee, and dan I've been trying to add them in more  
> Anyway kudos/comments are appreciated and you can bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic  
> Sidenote: I literally never proofread this or have it beta'd. My ass just goes through and write this on my phone and posts it so if you see errors lmk!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> naughtygayweedcrime: nothing on renee?
> 
> dumbfool: YOU try thinking of something had about renee
> 
> knifelesbian: what can I say
> 
> knifelesbian: I'm just the best one here
> 
> knifelesbian: it's my lesbian muscles
> 
> knifelesbian: they're powered by girls
> 
> morosexual: god I wish my boy powered muscles were as large as yours

**exyllent** : can someone come collect neil before I start drinking pure ethanol

**damnwilds** : :eyes:

**damnwilds** : whatd he do this time

**exyllent** : quote from neil here

**exyllent** : god and I fucking wish I was joking

**exyllent** : "kev where do frogs go in the winter"

**exyllent** : how the FUCK are you a college student 

**dumbfool** : :(

**dumbfool** : I asked andrew but he didnt answer

**morosexual** : wait

**morosexual** : r u fuckin kidding me

**morosexual** : that was a serious question??

**thestraightminyard** : damn thats a whole new level of dumbassery even from neil

**thestraightminyard** : andrew you live like this??

**dumbfool** : shut up ugly

**dumbfool** : anyway

**dumbfool** : WHERE do they go??

**thestraightminyard** : hibernation, idiot

**morosexual** : they are asleep

**morosexual** : neil imagine a big ass do not disturb sign

**morosexual** : I kno u love the frogs but dont wake them up theyll die

**dumbfool** : this fucking sucks

**exyllent** : your lack of brain cells honestly never ceases to amaze me

**dumbfool** : ://

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**morosexual** has added **dumbfool** to the group_

**thestraightminyard** : I cannot fucking believe this

**thestraightminyard** : how are you fucking 20 and dont know that frogs hibernats 

**dumbfool** : hibernats

**morosexual** : hibernats

**exyllent** : hibernats

**damnwilds** : hibernats 

**thestraightminyard** : cant believe I fucking clowned myself

_**thestraightminyard** has left the group_

_**exyllent** has added **thestraightminyard** to the group _

**exyllent** : haha idiot

**thestraightminyard** : congratulations to neil

**thestraightminyard** : you're no longer at the top of my shit list

**morosexual** : damn cant relate

**dumbfool** : wow rude :/

**dumbfool** : yall always ragging on me for being dumb why dont we make fun of someone else for once

**dumbfool** : like kevin is a bitch

**dumbfool** : and andrew is morosexual

**morosexual** : morophobia

**dumbfool** : and aaron is straight

**thestraightminyard** : is this what oppression feels like

**dumbfool** : and nicky wears ugly socks

**dumbfool** : and allison is bad at teaching me memes

**dumbfool** : and dan keeps spreading slander that I cant read clocks??

**dumbfool** : which I can btw

**naughtygayweedcrime** : ....

**naughtygayweedcrime** : nothing on renee?

**dumbfool** : YOU try thinking of something had about renee

**knifelesbian** : what can I say

**knifelesbian** : I'm just the best one here

**knifelesbian** : it's my lesbian muscles

**knifelesbian** : they're powered by girls

**morosexual** : god I wish my boy powered muscles were as large as yours

**itsyaboyd** : how many times I gotta say ur a beefcake andrew ://

**itsyaboyd** : or, as neil said, quadzilla, if youd prefer

**morosexual** : I will literally kill u matt

**itsyaboyd** : you could try but neil wouldnt let you

**morosexual** : bold of you to assume neil can contain me

**itsyaboyd** : boy what

**itsyaboyd** : you're fucking whipped for him like all the little shit had to do was ask and youd do it even before you guys got together

**itsyaboyd** : and so the morosexual becomes the moron

**itsyaboyd** : lads this is so sad can we get an f in the chat

**naughtygayweedcrime** : damn F

**knifelesbian** : f

**damnwilds** : f

**exyllent** : f

**bibiceps** : f

**thestraightminyard** : damn do u guys have a death wish or smth

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**itsyaboyd** has added **dumbfool** and **morosexual** to the group_

**damnwilds** : lol did u rlly think that would work??

**morosexual** : I've only wanted two things in life. Neil and to leave this GOD DAMN GROUP CHAT

**morosexual** : and I already have neil so

**thestraightminyard** : kate please help I'm stuck in a gc with the biggest group of dumbasses ive ever seen

**thestraightminyard** : oh whoops wrong group

**damnwilds** : damn cant believe aaron fucking exposed himself

**thestraightminyard** : this really is the timeline god abandoned huh

**damnwilds** : rude

**damnwilds** : don't make me tell katelyn abt that time you got drunk and said you had to go break up with neil bc you didnt even like him

**dumbfool** : LMAO

**dumbfool** : idiot bitch hahahah

**dumbfool** : tfw you can tell the difference between ur bf and his twin and even the twin cant

**damnwilds** : folks can we get an f in the chat?

**naughtygayweedcrime** : f

**morosexual** : damn f

**bibiceps** : f

**exyllent** : f

**knifelesbian** : f

**thestraightminyard** : you say that but dont think I've forgotten that time you burned my favorite sweatshirt bc you thought it was andrews and wore it for weeks

**dumbfool** : bro that's ur own fault for leaving it behind when u moved out

**dumbfool** : I'm dumb as rocks so I just assume that anything big is kevs and anything small is andrews and wear it

**morosexual** : fuck you you're literally 3 inches bigger than me

**dumbfool** : sorry I cant hear you from up here

**morosexual** : dumbass we arent talking this is a text conversation

**naughtygayweedcrime** : this is the weirdest flirting I've ever seen

**naughtygayweedcrime** : and that's coming from ME

**naughtygayweedcrime** : kev are they always like this

**exyllent** : it's a curse you learn to live with

**bibiceps** : damn you got a lot of curses

**bibiceps** : living with neil and andrew, thinking kale smoothies are good, being a big ol bitch

**bibiceps** : I could go on, really

**exyllent** : oh fuck off allison

**exyllent** : kale smoothies ARE good actually

**exyllent** : and least I don't eat like you fools do

**exyllent** : I wont have diabetes by age 30

**exyllent** : or lung cancer in neil and andrews case

**morosexual** : he doesn't even fucking smoke them so hed only get like

**morosexual** : bronchitis or smth

**exyllent** : so youre saying you'll get lung cancer then? you didnt deny that bit

**morosexual** : oh probably

**morosexual** : but I'm here for a good time not a long time like we all die anyway so like 

**morosexual** : might as well have a fun time w it and not be a bitch unlike some people

**dumbfool** : tbh I didnt even I would live THIS long so like I'd say I'm pretty doing good comparatively 

**naughtygayweedcrime** : alexa this is so sad,,,

**naughtygayweedcrime** : why dont yall just like vape or smth

**bibiceps** : andrew the vape god

**morosexual** : literally never say that again

**bibiceps** : why not just get high like normal people

**naughtygayweedcrime** : neil would probably drink the bong water

**bibiceps** : god yeah this comic is neil

**dumbfool** : allison did u draw that

**bibiceps** : wh

**bibiceps** : no it's a meme

**dumbfool** : oh

**dumbfool** : it sucks

**davidwymack** : sometimes I wish I was an alcoholic 

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent** , **damnwilds** , + 7 other for 45 minutes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up sexies its ur boi back at again with shitty jokes. Sorry I have no update schedule on this thats just how it be lmao.  
> Anyway as always kudos/comments are appreciated!! Let me know what you did and didnt like and if theres any jokes you want more or less of!!  
> Bother my tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or my main @pissaphobic  
> Another disclaimer here I literally never proofread and I have no beta so let me know about errors if you see then


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumbfool: finally the turn tables
> 
> dumbfool: table the turn
> 
> damnwilds: it's okay take your time
> 
> dumbfool: the tables have turned
> 
> dumbfool: hell yeah 

**dumbfool** : hello nicky just showed me a video and I was instructed to say the following

 **dumbfool** : I am a frog

 **dumbfool** : and andrew?

 **dumbfool** : well I guess you could say hes the chemicals in the water

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : HELL YEAH YOU DID IT

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has added **morosexual** to the group _

**dumbfool** : andrew wait you have to tell me what it means

 **morosexual** : nicky why would you do this

 **knifelesbian** : the chemicals in the water turn the frickin frogs gay

 **knifelesbian** : allison is my chemicals in the water....

 **bibiceps** : hell yeah I am

 **dumbfool** : well damn I mean I guess so

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : it really just do be like that sometimes

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : tag yourself are you the frog or the chemicals in the water 

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : top or bottom? Nah bro is you the frog or the chemicals

 **knifelesbian** : me and neil are the frogs and andrew and allison are the chemicals and I for one think thats some sexey wlw/mlm solidarity 

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : We Are All One Race...

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : The Gay Race....

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : except aaron hes the straight cousin

 **morosexual** : that's so sad can we get an f in the chat?

 **naughtygayweedcrime** : f

 **bibiceps:** damn sounds tragic F

 **knifelesbian** : f :pensive:

 **exyllent:** I hate this but f

 **dumbfool:** f

 **damnwilds:** f

 **itsyaboyd:** f

 **itsyaboyd:** wait does neil even understand the F stuff?

 **dumbfool:** haha what yeah

 **itsyaboyd:** oh?

 **itsyaboyd:** explain it to me then

 **dumbfool:** uh

 _ **dumbfool** has left the group_  

 **itsyaboyd:** f

_**itsyaboyd** has added **dumbfool** to the group _

**itsyaboyd:** neil you gotta stop leaving and just accept we're making you stay

 **dumbfool:** god that's so fucking tragic

 **dumbfool:** can we get an f?

 **morosexual:** f

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** DAMN F

 **itsyaboyd:** f ://

 **itsyaboyd:** I dont see why you and Andrew hate this so much

 **itsyaboyd:** we are a hoot to be around

 **dumbfool:** ....

 **dumbfool:** like

 **dumbfool:** have you ever even MET me

 **dumbfool:** or andrew for that matter

 **itsyaboyd:** okay damn I guess u got me there

 **itsyaboyd:** well then ig we'll have to start talking about stuff u guys like to keep u here

 **exyllent:** how about exy

 **exyllent:** you know

 **exyllent:** like what this chat was actually made for

 **dumbfool:** okay

 **morosexual:** absolutely not

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** bicep rating contest

 **itsyaboyd:** HELL yeah!!!

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**itsyaboyd** has added **morosexual** to the group _

**itsyaboyd:** hey we cant just have our beefiest of cakes leaving right in the middle of the bicep contest

 **itsyaboyd:** anyway even though my biceps are physically the largest I would have to say andrew is #1 bc proportionately his neil powered muscles are quite huge

 **itsyaboyd:** actually no you know what renee is #1 bc her bbe is off the fucking charts

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** bbe?

 **itsyaboyd:** big bicep energy

 **knifelesbian:** I cant help that I'm really just the best at every 

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** okay okay so renee, andrew, then matt, who's after that?

 **itsyaboyd:** hm probably technically kevin but hes a bitch and also I know for a fact that dan and allison could beat the shit out of him so

 **bibiceps:** I'll let dan go in front of me 

 **bibiceps:** I think her biceps are bigger anyway

 **damnwilds:** thanks allison ily

 **exyllent:** hey my bitch status shouldnt affect my bicep status?

 **itsyaboyd:** too bad I'm the judge so ://

 **exyllent:** and who made that rule

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** no we all think matt should be the judge

 **damnwilds:** yeah rt

 **bibiceps:** rt

 **knifelesbian:** rt

 **exyllent:** fine whatever at least I'm better than neil and aaron

 **itsyaboyd:** well actually

 **itsyaboyd:** neil is my best bro and I legally am not able to say you're better than him or I'll feel bad

 **itsyaboyd:** plus he always says my biceps make good hugs so

 **itsyaboyd:** sorry kevin but I'm gonna have to rank neil in front of you

 **morosexual:** if this were a thigh contest he would have all you fuckers beat

 **itsyaboyd:** anyway I'm also legally obligated to put aaron last bc hes straight so

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** aw I'm second last

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** tbh that's okay tho bc all of your biceps might be bigger but damn if I ain't the sexiest motherfucker here

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** I am a god damn 3 course meal

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** actually no

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** allison is the 3 course meal

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** I however am a whole damn feast

 **bibiceps:** that's fair tbh

 **itsyaboyd:** okay so the final rankings of the Great Bicep Contest are- renee, andrew, me, dan, allison, neil, kevin, nicky, aaron

 **thestraightminyard:** i feel oppressed

 **morosexual:** oh tragic

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** your user is basically like the shame bell of this bc tbh

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** youre the token straight friend if you will

 **dumbfool:** finally the turn tables

 **dumbfool:** table the turn

 **damnwilds:** it's okay take your time

 **dumbfool:** the tables have turned

 **dumbfool:** hell yeah 

 **thestraightminyard:** do you ever wonder what it's like to have brain cells 

 **morosexual:** all the time 

 **dumbfool:** yeah constantly

 **itsyaboyd:** damn can u imagine how cool that would be

 **damnwilds:** aaron you DO realize who ur talking too right

 **damnwilds:** like this is just a gc with a bunch of disaster gays/bis/lesbians 

 **itsyaboyd:** aw babe ur distinguished tho

 **damnwilds:** eh functional at the most I'd say

 **damnwilds:** I would say renee is distinguished tho

 **bibiceps:** no shes not lmaoo

 **thestraightminyard:** I have no idea what any of this says

 **dumbfool:** ha who's the dumbass now

 **morosexual:** clearly your name says dumb fool not dubm ass, idiot

 **dumbfool:** dubm 

 **damnwilds:** dubm

 **thestraightminyard:** dubm

 **exyllent:** dubm

 **itsyaboyd:** dubm

 **bibiceps:** dubm

 **knifelesbian:** dubm

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** dubm

 **morosexual:** shut up

 **morosexual:** at least I can read clocks neil

 **dumbfool:** actually I can read clocks andrew 

 **dumbfool:** I dont know why everyone thinks thay I cant but reading clocks is a skill I do actually possess believe it or not

 **damnwilds:** remember when I asked you for the time and you took your watch off and stomped on it and told me it didnt work

 **mattboyd:** remember when I asked you for the time and you slipped your watch between the couch cushions and said you werent wearing it

 **exyllent:** remember when I told you to make sure the team got back on the court after ten minutes and you said you didnt have your watch and there was a clock literally in there

 **dumbfool:** shut up I dont need this from a bitch

 **morosexual:** god

 **dumbfool:** okay well if you all dont think I can read clocks then why do you always ask me to

 **dumbfool:** which I can read them btw

 **davidwymack:** josten remember when I told you to take a 5 minute break and to time it and you went back on court after 3?

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can yall believe I've actually had enough motivation to keep writing this?? Wow. Also this is almost at 1k hits which is crazy?? This is literally the first and probably only thing I'll ever write so @ anyone who's read this far ur a sexey bitch!  
> Kudos/comments are appreciated! Tell me what you did or didnt like or if theres any jokes you want me to bring back or stop doing!!  
> Bother my tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or my main @pissaphobic


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumbfool: okay at least I dont watch anime :/
> 
> naughtygayweedcrime: hey
> 
> naughtygayweedcrime: you are a god damn fucking liar if you say you dont want all might to detroit smash your ass
> 
> dumbfool: nicky for the last time I dont fucking know who all might is

**naughtygayweedcrime:** it'll be fun! we'll make it a boy's day. come on, you punk bitch!

 **exyllent:** I can't believe I have to say this: I don't have time to get tested for STI's with you tomorrow.

 **exyllent:** oh shit the isnt private messages

 **itsyaboyd:** damn yall wild

 **damnwilds:** haha no thats me

 **bibiceps:** wtf kind of convos yall havin lmfao

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** at least I dont send minion memes in the dms smh ://

 **dumbfool:** it was ONE time

 **morosexual:** no it wasnt

 **bibiceps:** exposed

 **dumbfool:** why do you all shame me for minions

 **dumbfool:** theyre just some funky little yellow funny boys

 **morosexual:** the fact that you say that unironically makes me want to grind your bones into fucking oatmeal

 **dumbfool:** do it you fucking coward

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** that, my friends, is what I like to call one hell of a kink

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has added **dumbfool** and **morosexual** to the group_

**exyllent:** tbh tho hes right like if you guys are gonna shame him for shitty memes on main then you have to teach him better memes

 **morosexual:** nicky if you teach him anymore memes I will fucking stab you

 **morosexual:** he literally will not fucking stop saying wig now

 **dumbfool:** wig

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has added **morosexual** to the group_

**thestraightminyard:** what does wig mean

 **thestraightminyard:** neil doesnt wear a wig??

 **thestraightminyard:** fuck wait does he

 **thestraightminyard:** I dont know a damned thing about him I never cared to learn

 **morosexual:** god I wish that were me

 **exyllent:** wig

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has added **morosexual** to the group_

**morosexual:** bitch

 **bibiceps:** hey nicky why did you even want to go get tested for STIs anyway

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** listen u can never be too safe. And what a nice way to bond with your best bitch bro

 **exyllent:** oh hes suggested worse

 **exyllent:** last week he suggested arson

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** that's a LIE

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** ANDREW suggested the arson

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** I just agreed that it would be fun

 **morosexual:** is it not a good idea to burn all of neils shitty clothes??

 **dumbfool:** excuse you none of my clothes are shitty

 **morosexual:** every single article of clothing you own makes me want to pour bleach into my eyes

 **dumbfool:** okay well half of my clothes are your clothes so what does that say about you, huh?

 **exyllent:** neil this is a photo of a shirt you own AND wear

**dumbfool:** yeah and what about it???

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** petition for me and allison to just go over and dress neil every day

 **bibiceps:** HELL yeah!!

 **dumbfool:** no I can dress myself

 **bibiceps:** no u fucking cant we've literally all seen how you dress sweetie

 **dumbfool:** why does this always turn into the Roast Neil Groupchat

 **bibiceps:** because it's fun and you make it too easy

 **bibiceps:** learn how to read clocks and dress yourself and maybe we'll pick on someone else

 **dumbfool:** jokes on you knucklehead, I can already do BOTH of those things

 **bibiceps:** the fact that you actually think thats true is so sad. F.

 **morosexual:** f

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** f

 **exyllent:** f

 **damnwilds:** f

 **itsyaboyd:** f

 **knifelesbian:** f

 **dumbfool:** okay at least I dont watch anime :/

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** hey

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** you are a god damn fucking liar if you say you dont want all might to detroit smash your ass

 **dumbfool:** nicky for the last time I dont fucking know who all might is

 **dumbfool:** have fun with your cartoons you nerd

 **dumbfool:** you probably have the hots for that fish man from zelda just like andrew dont you

 **dumbfool:** oh whoops lol

 **morosexual:** tbh I take no shame in that hes hot

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** yeah rt

 **itsyaboyd:** rt

 **exyllent:** rt

 **damnwilds:** rt

 **bibiceps:** rt

 **knifelesbian:** rt

 **knifelesbian:** like I'm a whole lesbian but I have eyes so

 **thestraightminyard:** so I'm surrounded by a bunch of dumbass anime watching fish fuckers huh.

 **thestraightminyard:** and yet I get oppressed for my straightness

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** yeah that's just how it be sometimes

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** anyway shut up I saw you wearing a suns out guns out shirt yesterday and you dont even have muscle

 **thestraightminyard:** SORRY IM NOT AS BEEFY AS ANDREW OKAY

 **thestraightminyard:** LIKE I AM FIT BELIEVE IT OR NOT

 **itsyaboyd:** yeah you're fit but you'll never be as stacked as andrew

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** it's true

 **morosexual:** why does this always happen

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has added **morosexual** to the group_

**dumbfool:** theyre all just jealous

 **dumbfool:** except renee she kicks your ass every thursday

 **knifelesbian:** :))

 **morosexual:** you say that like I should he embarrassed but you've never fought renee

 **dumbfool:** what you think I have a death wish or something? I'm not THAT dumb

 **morosexual:** yeah you are

 **knifelesbian:** yeah you are

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** yeah you are

 **exyllent:** yeah you are

 **dumbfool:** okay so maybe I'm a little reckless sometimes but I've seen allison run in heels and only batshit crazy people do that

 **bibiceps:** you're just mad that I get infinite pussy and you dont

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** okay that's like impressive tho

 **bibiceps:** the pussy or the heels

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** both I guess

 **bibiceps:** yeah my parents knew when I was born that they would never be as good as me and that everything I did would just be iconic so I mean everyone just wishes they could be me

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** god that is so powerful of you to say

 **exyllent:** your hubris will be your downfall

 **bibiceps:** hi! thanks for your input! your heart will stop beating at 6:32pm on October the 4th!

 **damnwilds:** is this what watching a fight between two gods is like

 **itsyaboyd:** this is a fight between a bitch and a god actually

 **morosexual:** and what is a bitch to a god?

 **exyllent:** fuck you guys I'm not a bitch

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** only bitches watch boruto kevin

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** we just stop at shippuden like men and forget kishimoto exists.

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** in this house we say fuck canon this is our city and trash the whole miserably straight married with 2.5 kids ending

 **exyllent:** listen

 **exyllent:** last time I got you talking about naruto you went on a 3 hour rant about how sasuke and naruto are in love and like ur right but also I dont have fucking time for that

 **davidwymack:** every time you guys get unmuted your conversations just get worse and worse and I honestly cant tell if you're doing that to spite me or not

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others for 4 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I know this update took a while but alas I am almost as stupid as neil and I have to keep coming up with jokes that are like actually funny. Today it seems they all revolve around anime but anyone who watches it needs to be clowned, including myself.  
> Anyway kudos/comments are appreciated I love hearing yalls favorite parts.  
> Bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumbfool: I'm not a total idiot I know how to use the internet
> 
> morosexual: last night you told me you wished squids were real
> 
> dumbfool has left the group
> 
> morosexual has added dumbfool to the group
> 
> itsyaboyd: neil buddy have I got a surprise for you
> 
> dumbfool: yes I know squids are real now matt

**naughtygayweedcrime:** rise and grind fools it's time to get that bread

**dumbfool:** why do we need bread 

**naughtygayweedcrime:** w

**naughtygayweedcrime:** neil no

**naughtygayweedcrime:** not like actual bread

**dumbfool:** okay well if you arent acrually talking about bread then why call it bread

**naughtygayweedcrime:** because it's a meme?

**dumbfool:** this is why I hate memes

**dumbfool:** they make literally no sense

**morosexual:**  IT’S COCKTOBER  U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS DICK SUCKING AWARENESS MONTH SEND THIS TO 12 OF UR CLOSET HOES THAT LOVE THAT DICK THOT-O-WEEN IS UPON US !! YOU ARE QUEEN OF THE THOTS!!! FORWARD THIS TO 7 OF THE THOTTIEST THOTS  THAT YOU KNOW WILL GET SOME SOON !!! IF YOU DON’T, BE PREPARED FOR 69 DAYS OF BAD LUCK

**morosexual:** oh whoops wrong chat

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has added **morosexual** to the group_

**itsyaboyd:** wait who was that SUPPOSED to go to

**dumbfool:** me I assume bc yesterday he sent me "BOO!! Sorry did I scare you?? it's Cocktober u kno what that means SLUT-O-WEEN send this to 7 of ur sluttiest ghost bitches if u get 7 back ur a slutty witch bitch but if u get 10 back ur the spookiest slut on the block you've been visited by the thottie ghost‼‼ if u don't send this to  other thot you will get NO DICK this Halloween ALL HALLOWEEN HOES ITS TIME TO GET SPOOKY YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS GET FISTED BY A SKELETON SHOVE CANDY CORN IN YOUR PUSSY AND DONT FORGET TO SUCK SOME DRACULA DICK SO PUT YOUR COSTUMES AND GO DOOR TO DOOR BEGGING FOR THAT GOOD GOOD"

**itsyaboyd:** seeing that sent from neil is weird but imagining it sent from andrew is like a fever dream

**damnwilds:** damn how come andrews only cool with neil

**damnwilds:** like hes always such a lame party pooping bitch with us

**damnwilds:** but then he does this behind our backs?

**damnwilds:** fake hoe

**bibiceps:** the fakest part is that he didnt even send it to me, one of his closest hoes and sluttiest ghost bitches ://

**naughtygayweedcrime:** no that's me

**naughtygayweedcrime:** you can have second place tho

**bibiceps:** thats no fair

**bibiceps:** you get to be the slut AND the bitch?? What does that leave me

**naughtygayweedcrime:** okay okay wait

**naughtygayweedcrime:** I'm the slutty bitch

**naughtygayweedcrime:** you're the thottie bitch

**bibiceps:** hell yeah

**exyllent:** well well well

**exyllent:** look who the bitches are now

**bibiceps:** no kevin ur a bitch bitch

**naughtygayweedcrime:** yeah we're like cool bitches

**naughtygayweedcrime:** ur the type of bitch that would get shoved into lockers for doing fortnite dances at school and reminding the teacher about hw

**naughtygayweedcrime:** me and allison are the bitches that everyone wishes they could be

**exyllent:** hey fuck you

**exyllent:** you know I hate fortnite

**dumbfool:** whats a fortnite

**morosexual:** god I wish that were me

**exyllent:** lets just not tell him

**exyllent:** if I accidentally get neil into fortnite I will die

**exyllent:** if not by gods hand, then mine

**morosexual:** if not by gods hand then MINE actually

**dumbfool:** I can just google it

**dumbfool:** I'm not a total idiot I know how to use the internet

**morosexual:** last night you told me you wished squids were real

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**morosexual** has added **dumbfool** to the group_

**itsyaboyd:** neil buddy have I got a surprise for you

**dumbfool:** yes I know squids are real now matt

**itsyaboyd:** hey, just trying to help a bro out

**bibiceps:** why did you think they were fake??

**dumbfool:** I dunno thought that someone just imagined a break on an octopus and called it a squid or something

**bibiceps:** how did u get into college

**dumbfool:** run good throw ball

**thestraightminyard:** literally how are any of you still surprised by his shit

**thestraightminyard:** he is inarguably the dumbest one here

**dumbfool:** okay mr doctor I'd like to see you break out of handcuffs in under 15 seconds or steal a car in under 10 ://

**thestraightminyard:** those are only skills criminals need bro

**dumbfool:** but can you tho

**thestraightminyard:** ....

**thestraightminyard:** no

**dumbfool:** also like not to brag but I couldve clocked a faster mile than any of you even when I had the shit beat out of me

**itsyaboyd:** I feel like that's an exaggeration but ur my bro so instead I'm gonna agree with you

**dumbfool:** hell yeah

**dumbfool:** this is why matts my favorite

**naughtygayweedcrime:** not andrew?

**dumbfool:** eh. andy throws my cigarettes off the roof when he has tantrums and matt doesnt so

**itsyaboyd:** thats bc I dont smoke and am never on the roof

**dumbfool:** theoretically you wouldnt though, you never say no to my puppy dog eyes

**itsyaboyd:** listen

**itsyaboyd:** bros dont waste bros cigarettes

**itsyaboyd:** bro code dude

**dumbfool:** hell yeah bro code

**dumbfool:** also matt gives the best hugs out of everyone here

**dumbfool:** I would know since all of you baby me and give me hugs

**damnwilds:** you're small and young and also we all just like hugs

**damnwilds:** but yeah matts are the best

**damnwilds:** big bicep soft and warm

**naughtygayweedcrime:** rt

**knifelesbian:** rt

**exyllent:** rt

**bibiceps:** rt

**damnwilds:** damn we cant even get a rt from the twins :// fake matt stans

**itsyaboyd:** andrew carries several knives and would stab me if I tried to hug him

**itsyaboyd:** aaron is just a salty bitch and hasnt done anything to earn one which is surprising since they're quite easy to get

**dumbfool:** its true all I have to do is exist and he gives me hugs

**thestraightminyard:** is this more straight oppression

**itsyaboyd:** yeah ://

**dumbfool:** yeah

**morosexual:** yeah

**damnwilds:** yeah

**knifelesbian:** yeah

**bibiceps:** yeah

**exyllent:** yeah

**naughtygayweedcrime:** yeah

**dumbfool:** this is so tragic can we get an f in the chat

**itsyaboyd:**  U DID IT BUDDY HELL YEAH

**itsyaboyd:** f tho

**naughtygayweedcrime:** f

**morosexual:** f

**damnwilds:** f

**exyllent:** .....f

**knifelesbian:** f

**knifelesbian:** rip aaron hes been roasted like three times tonight

**exyllent:** it's his turn

**dumbfool:** yeah everyones always making fun of me or kev

**bibiceps:** you two are the easiest since you're an idiot and hes a bitch

**bibiceps:** but we are fools. aarons the straight one and he deserves to be bullied by us ://

**bibiceps:** next we'll bully andrew for dating neil

**bibiceps:** and then matt for owning a blue truck

**bibiceps:** and then nicky for getting the choreography wrong in hsm. fake stan.

**naughtygayweedcrime:** okay this is slander I messed up ONE time

**bibiceps:** yeah and zac efron messed up zero times ://

**naughtygayweedcrime:** damn okay sharpay ://

**naughtygayweedcrime:** anyway this is unfair you left out dan and renee

**bibiceps:** dan has done nothing wrong in her life and shes my homie so no slander campaigns against her

**bibiceps:** and renee has also done nothing wrong and is also my girlfriend so 

**naughtygayweedcrime:** okay fair except neil and andrew call eachother out all the time so ur last point is invalid

**bibiceps:** neil and andrew also fight over the validity of mint chip ice cream so

**dumbfool:** its fucking GOOD

**morosexual:** you are a dumb idiot fool

**morosexual:** I cannot fucking believe this

**morosexual:** mint and chocolate dont fucking go together

**dumbfool:** yes they do you are just a fucking COWARD

**morosexual:** your opinion doesnt matter because I've seen you put bbq sauce in mac n cheese and drink kevins kale smoothies without gagging

**dumbfool:** I never said any of that was good though I just wanted to try it

**dumbfool:** mint chip ice cream though 

**dumbfool:** heavenly

**dumbfool:** you are a fucking buffoon and you are wrong

**naughtygayweedcrime:** why did u put bbq sauce in mac n cheese tho

**dumbfool:** I dunno I was bored 

**davidwymack:** for once in his damn life neil is right can you bitches fucking shut up now

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 other for 3 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont even know what any of this is at this point tbh I just write down whatever dumb shit I think of and post it. Proofreading and beta reading whomst? I just write this all in one go and hope it's funny. Those cocktober copy pastas had emojis in them when like apparently ao3 cant function when u do that so I had to take them out :((   
> Kudos/comments are appreciated! I wanna know what yall like and dont like!!  
> Bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic  
> Oh and also mint chip ice cream is fucking good


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> morosexual: neil has that look on his face like hes gonna say smth real fuckin dumb
> 
> itsyaboyd: hes been typing for a while :eyes:
> 
> dumbfool: nevermind
> 
> dumbfool: you guys will laugh
> 
> morosexual: if it's about a meme I swear to fuck

**itsyaboyd** : hey does anyone know why neil just sits in the park and watches birds

**itsyaboyd** : I thought he liked running

**morosexual** : damn it neil I told you to stop doing that

**morosexual** : he likes to keep an eye on the birds bc he thinks they're a rival gang to the squirrels

**dumbfool** : I need to see how that drama plays out andrew

**morosexual** : you are literally such a fucking dumbass

**dumbfool** : and what is a dumbass to a morosexual....

**itsyaboyd** : a boyfriend

**naughtygayweedcrime** : god and they say romance is dead

**itsyaboyd** : I tried to get damn to wear matching couple shirts with me but she wasnt up for it :(

**damnwilds** : listen i would do it if you picked better shirts

**damnwilds** : so far the options you've given me and matching minions holding "I'm hers/I'm his" sign and then the ones that say "yeehaw" and "I only date country boys"

**naughtygayweedcrime** : dan what are you talking about those are fantastic options

**naughtygayweedcrime** : kudos to matt for having impeccable taste

**dumbfool** : minion ones?

**dumbfool** : hey andy

**morosexual** : absolutely not

**dumbfool** : :(

**dumbfool** : matt would wear matching shirts with me

**dumbfool** : hell even allison would

**itsyaboyd** : can we???

**bibiceps** : hell yeah little dude let's all three of us match

**itsyaboyd** : allison you are literally so intelligent

**itsyaboyd** : I submit these as an option

**bibiceps** : a good choice but I instead submit these ones

**naughtygayweedcrime** : PLEASE chose the dick one

**morosexual** : h

**morosexual** : why do yall suck so bad

**naughtygayweedcrime** : :(

**itsyaboyd** : rude we just want matching shirts

**itsyaboyd** : bros match with bros its bro code

**morosexual** : what, do you guys have a secret handshake too?

**itsyaboyd** : actually we do thanks for asking

**itsyaboyd** : and no I wont teach it to you

**morosexual** : w

**morosexual** : no

**morosexual** : I dont want to learn it

**exyllent** : I really wish I was drunk right now 

**exyllent** : yall are dumbasses

**bibiceps** : and what is a dumbass to a bitch, Your Bitchiness?

**exyllent** : thanks for your input allison! april 7th your heart will stop beating!

**bibiceps** : awfully bold of you to assume I have one! I got it removed a long time ago actually!

**naughtygayweedcrime** : and so the fight between gods continues

**itsyaboyd** : place your bets now on who wins I vote allison

**knifelesbian** : it wouldnt be much of a bet I dont think anyone will vote for kevin

**bibiceps** : aw thanks babe :)

**bibiceps** : but yeah I could beat the shit out of kevin. I wouldnt lose to a bitch

**bibiceps** : my large bisexual biceps have too much raw energy to lose

**exyllent** : I mean I also have large bisexual biceps

**bibiceps** : yes but you see the difference is that yours are bitch muscles and mine are renee powered muscles

**naughtygayweedcrime** : god damn can we get an f?

**naughtygayweedcrime** : f

**itsyaboyd** : f

**knifelesbian** : f

**damnwilds** : f

**morosexual** : f

**dumbfool** : f

**thestraightminyard** : f

**naughtygayweedcrime** : or aaron did it too that's a surprise

**naughtygayweedcrime** : the little rat is never active

**thestraightminyard** : yeah that's because whenever I'm on I have to deal with either neils dumbassery, kevin being a bitch, or some other wack shit

**itsyaboyd** : yall straighties weak as hell

**itsyaboyd** : oh and neil hasnt pulled any dumbassery yet

**morosexual** : wow that's odd bc I can recall 3 idiotic things hes said in about 7 minutes

**itsyaboyd** : oh yeah the bird and squirrel gangs and the matching shirts and the handshake

**itsyaboyd** : 2 of those were half me tho

**morosexual** : ah then it appears you must also be an idiot too then, hm?

**morosexual** : oh god

**morosexual** : neil has that look on his face like hes gonna say smth real fuckin dumb

**itsyaboyd** : hes been typing for a while :eyes:

**dumbfool** : nevermind

**dumbfool** : you guys will laugh

**morosexual** : if it's about a meme I swear to fuck

**itsyaboyd:** wait andrew let him talk we need to get him caught up on memes

**dumbfool:** what is the tide pod challenge???

_**morosexual** has left the group_

**naughtygayweedcrime:** GJFJXJXHXJDPZJS

**bibiceps:** HOGKFJCKGKCJFJC

**naughtygayweedcrime:** some of these texts belong in a museum holy shit

_**itsyaboyd** has added **morosexual** to the group_

**dumbfool:** you guys laugh at me for not knowing memes and like I punched riko in the face and this is how you treat me?

**naughtygayweedcrime:** neil :clap: is :clap: valid!

**itsyaboyd:** rt

**knifelesbian:** rt

**bibiceps:** rt

**damnwilds:** rt

**naughtygayweedcrime:** holy shit guys

**naughtygayweedcrime:** should we teach neil how to fortnite dance

**morosexual:** absolutely not

**exyllent:** nicky I swear to god

**bibiceps:** yes we absolutely should you are so intelligent nicky

**dumbfool:** you guys never told me what fortnite was?????

**exyllent:** god I really wish I was drunk right now

**morosexual:** kin

**morosexual:** I mean same

**bibiceps:** andrew exposed as a kinnie???

**morosexual:** hm. actually. I hate everyone here and I will no longer be providing any input on any topic

**bibiceps:** oh? That's a challenge

**bibiceps:** neil is such an idiot

**bibiceps:** aaron is the better twin

**bibiceps:** neils minion memes are so cool

**itsyaboyd:** fortnite is the best game

**itsyaboyd:** oh this will be a tough nut to crack

**dumbfool:** hold on

**dumbfool:** you have the hots for prince fish guy from zelda bc he knows how to swim and you dont

**morosexual:** FUCK you I CAN swim actually

**morosexual:** god dammit

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has added **morosexual** to the group_

**dumbfool:** :)

**bibiceps:** okay so neil cant read clocks, andrew cant swim, aaron is straight, kevin is a bitch

**bibiceps:** damn so do yall just share the same single braincell or something?

**morosexual:** yeah coach said it's my turn to use it

**morosexual:** I'm using it to tell you that you are a goblin and I hate you

**bibiceps:** oh wow andrew hates someone that's a surprise

**naughtygayweedcrime:** you know who he doesnt hate?

**dumbfool:** me

**morosexual:** prince sidon

**dumbfool:** oh

**dumbfool:** valid tho

**dumbfool:** we cant all be an 8 foot tall fish prince

**dumbfool:** you win some you lose some

**davidwymack:** so is today the day we all just decided to be horny on main or something? shut the fuck up already

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others for 3 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello fools sorry for the slower updates but college sure is one hell of a bitch. Anyway I'm back on my bullshit now and this one might be kind of short but it's late and my brain ran out of funnies  
> Kudos/comments are appreciated I love hearing yalls feedback, validation feeds me  
> Bother my tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumbfool: the only words I had typed were "dinosaur chicken nuggies"
> 
> naughtygayweedcrime: hell yeah andrew can we get some
> 
> exyllent: dinosaur chicken nuggets.......
> 
> exyllent: I have literally never wanted anything more in my entire life

**morosexual:** dumbasses incoming

**damnwilds:** wow andrew texting first for once that's a surprise

**morosexual:** no

**morosexual:** the whole crew got fucking stoned and I'm the only one who's remotely coherent

**damnwilds:** how did you manage to get neil and kevin stoned

**damnwilds:** they're such hardasses

**naughtygayweedcrime:** me and aaron and andrew were already stoned and there was no alcohol left

**naughtygayweedcrime:** holy shit I really am naughty gay weed crime rn

**thestraightminyard:** dumb thotticus tried to drink the fucking bong water

**dumbfool:** no I didnt

**dumbfool:** that's a lie

**dumbfool:** I didnt

**dumbfool:** I'm not even thirsty why would I try to drink it

**dumbfool:** shut up aaron you dont know shit

**bibiceps:** well we are in for a fun night arent we

**itsyaboyd:** listen we were able to handle the drunk andcrew, we could certainly handle the stoned andcrew

**morosexual:** aaron just spent 10 minutes having a staring contest with himself in the mirror bc he thought it was me

**morosexual:** nicky is fortnite dancing

**morosexual:** kevin has not shut his mouth about his nerd history shit for 46 minutes

**morosexual:** neil has been laughing at nothing all night

**dumbfool:** that is not true

**dumbfool:** I am laughing at something actually so fuck you

**morosexual:** what are you laughing about

**dumbfool:** I dont know

**dumbfool:** beesechurger

**dumbfool:** churgbeeser?

**dumbfool:** I dont know

**thestraightminyard:** it's called cheesed burger you dumbass

**dumbfool:** shut up aaron at least I know the difference between you and andrew

**dumbfool:** you dont

**dumbfool:** your idiot bitch brain thought you were andrew

**dumbfool:** but you arent

**dumbfool:** unless you are and IM the idiot bitch brain?

**dumbfool:** oh fuck

**thestraightminyard:** no I'm not andrew you buffoon

**thestraightminyard:** wait am I

**thestraightminyard:** no I'm not andrew andrew is dating you and I dont like you

**thestraightminyard:** wait he doesnt either

**thestraightminyard:** oh fuck

**bibiceps:** this is fucking gold please get high all the time

**morosexual:** god these dumbasses think I'm aaron

**morosexual:** as if I would ever be straight

**morosexual:** how dare you

**dumbfool:** no I knew you were you

**dumbfool:** aaron is the one who the he was you and you were him but I know the difference

**dumbfool:** I am an intelligent

**morosexual:** I can read you know

**morosexual:** you were confused for a few minutes I saw it

**thestraightminyard:** neil is confused about everything always tho

**dumbfool:** shut up aaron

**dumbfool:** I'm better than you bc matt likes me more

**itsyaboyd:** this is true

**bibiceps:** everyone likes neil more tho bc hes not a salty hoe all the time

**itsyaboyd:** this is also true

**itsyaboyd:** also I hear the fortnite default dance music does anyone care to explain that

**morosexual:** its nicky

**morosexual:** wait how come you recognize it

_**itsyaboyd** has left the group_

_**bibiceps** has added **itsyaboyd** to the group_

**bibiceps:** dont pull an andrew

**naughtygayweedcrime:** say what you want about fortnite but these dances are fresh and groovy as hell

**naughtygayweedcrime:** neil come join me

**morosexual:** do not

**dumbfool:** I dont dance

**naughtygayweedcrime:** itll make kevin mad

**dumbfool:** okay

**morosexual:** he wont even notice hes too busy not shutting the fuck up

**exyllent:** hey listen

**exyllent:** I just think it's funny that the romans would use their own piss as mouthwash

**exyllent:** imagine drinking your own piss

**morosexual:** I will not

**dumbfool:** I drank glue once

**itsyaboyd:** why

**dumbfool:** why not

**itsyaboyd:** well fuck

**itsyaboyd:** you got me there I guess

**morosexual:** this is a lie he did that on accident

**morosexual:** he thought it was a cup but it was a bottle of glue

**morosexual:** his junkie ass was too busy watching exy to notice it wasnt a cup

**dumbfool:** bitch

**dumbfool:** now I have to expose YOU

**morosexual:** do it pussy

**itsyaboyd:** you've been typing for a while :eyes:

**dumbfool:** my brain has been on autopilot

**dumbfool:** the only words I had typed were "dinosaur chicken nuggies"

**naughtygayweedcrime:** hell yeah andrew can we get some

**exyllent:** dinosaur chicken nuggets.......

**exyllent:** I have literally never wanted anything more in my entire life

**morosexual:** no we dont need any

**morosexual:** jesus

**morosexual:** someone come collect these fools before I lose my marbles

**bibiceps:** is that a chorus of sobbing I'm hearing

**morosexual:** damn do yall got like super hearing

**itsyaboyd:** thin walls

**morosexual:** yeah I said no and they all started crying

**itsyaboyd:** I'll buy you guys dinosaur nuggs

**dumbfool:** matt I would do literally anything for you

**dumbfool:** you are so good

**dumbfool:** good hug, good heart, good good

**dumbfool:** and now you're buying me dinosaur chicken nuggets

**dumbfool:** you are the best person on the planet and if anything ever happened to you I would avenge you in an instant

**naughtygayweedcrime:** dan dan hes comin for ur man

**damnwilds:** matt has two hands

**naughtygayweedcrime:** poor andrew where does that leave him

**morosexual:** I would have half of my wardrobe back

**dumbfool:** bold of you to assume you're gonna get these clothes back

**itsyaboyd:** so do yall want the dino nuggs

**itsyaboyd:** renees at the store I can ask her to pick some up

**dumbfool:** there is nothing else i want in life 

**exyllent:** if I dont get these nuggies thatll be the worst thing that's ever happened to me

**naughtygayweedcrime:** please matt

**naughtygayweedcrime:**  please we need the nuggets matt

**morosexual:** wheres that pic of ben affleck smoking

**dumbfool:** you use that meme a lot

**dumbfool:** my favorite meme is the hair one

**bibiceps:** the hair one?

**dumbfool:** hair

**dumbfool:** WIG

**bibiceps:** neil you are literally the best person on this planet please never change

**naughtygayweedcrime:** I like the funky fresh fortnite dances

**exyllent:** yall lame

**exyllent:** my meme of choice is minecraft

**naughtygayweedcrime:** minecraft is not a meme you absolute idiot

**naughtygayweedcrime:** minecraft is life

**dumbfool:** what is a mined craft

**naughtygayweedcrime:** neil I'm sorry but we cant be friends anymore

**bibiceps:** damn so I guess andrew must be both the gamer and the the goth gf

**davidwymack:** can you fucks go one damn day without making me wish I was a bigger alcoholic than kevin

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others for 3 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya bois been on a long hiatus than homestuck rip. The comedy police came and took all my joke away because they were too funny which is why I havent updated. Anyway. Stoned chapter. The drunk chapter got good feedback and I am a goblin so have this steaming heap of garbage.  
> Kudos/comments are appreciated, I love hearing from yall.  
> Bother my tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> morosexual: but I actually am in fact perfectly fine
> 
> morosexual: shit I sound like neil
> 
> morosexual: dont tell him I said that
> 
> morosexual: he'll laugh at me

**naughtygayweedcrime:** holy shit guys

**naughtygayweedcrime:** you fuckers better get in here

**naughtygayweedcrime:** andrew has to get his wisdom teeth pulled today which means this gc will be a fucking GOLDMINE

**exyllent:** you know he'll murder us all in the morning right

**naughtygayweedcrime:** a risk I am willing to take my friend

**naughtygayweedcrime:** honestly neil is with him so they probably have some thing where neil watches what andrew says

**bibiceps:** what and you think that chaotic little twink is gonna let this whole thing happen without letting andrew say ONE embarrassing thing?

**bibiceps:** like theyve already given accidental hints that andrew cant swim while they were both sober

**bibiceps:** let's place bets on what'll happen

**bibiceps:** I think andrew will say one (1) cheesy thing and then be a confused baby for the rest of the time

**knifelesbian:** hm a bold bet but I think he will say two (2) cheesy things

**knifelesbian:** both about neil I assume

**itsyaboyd:** I think hes gonna say one cheesy thing, one embarrassing thing, and ask a lot of confused questions

**thestraightminyard:** oh hes gonna lose his fucking mind when he sees me

**thestraightminyard:** QUICK DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT HE WAS WEARING TODAY

**bibiceps:** oh?

**bibiceps:** it appears aaron is more fun than we had originally thought

**thestraightminyard:** listen

**thestraightminyard:** literally what kind of person would pass up an opportunity like this

**damnwilds:** are we just ignoring that allison called neil a chaotic twink

**knifelesbian:** tbh shes right and she should say it

**damnwilds:** I mean

**damnwilds:** yeah

**itsyaboyd:** I saw him run out of toothpaste and just take a bite out of deodorant once

**itsyaboyd:** I've literally never forgotten that

**itsyaboyd:** a power move tbh tho

**morosexual:** haha neil they're talking about you

**morosexual:** wait hes driving he cant see this

**morosexual:** h

**morosexual:** mouth segery

**morosexual:** surgy

**itsyaboyd:** it's okay take your time bud

**morosexual:** surgery

**itsyaboyd:** there you go

**bibiceps:** oh this will be fucking great

**naughtygayweedcrime:** how are you feeling andrew

**morosexual:** woah

**naughtygayweedcrime:** woah?

**morosexual:** just saw neil.

**morosexual:** effervescent,,,,,

**itsyaboyd:** god who said romance is dead

**morosexual:** why my mouth hurt so weird

**damnwilds:** you just had your wisdom teeth pulled

**morosexual:** wisdom teeth

**morosexual:** if they're so smart then why did they have to get removed

**morosexual:** fucking idiots

**morosexual:** no idiot teeth in THIS bitch

**naughtygayweedcrime:** I'm gonna piss myself

**naughtygayweedcrime:** god too bad neil isnt here to see this

**morosexual:** idiot hes right here

**naughtygayweedcrime:** no I mean like

**naughtygayweedcrime:** in the gc

**naughtygayweedcrime:** hes driving so

**morosexual:** yeah the bastard wouldnt let me drive

**morosexual:** apparently I'm "too loopy" and "drugged up"

**morosexual:** but I actually am in fact perfectly fine

**morosexual:** shit I sound like neil

**morosexual:** dont tell him I said that

**morosexual:** he'll laugh at me

**morosexual:** I cant have that

**morosexual:** I cant be the idiot in this relationship that's his job

**knifelesbian:** hot take you're both idiots

**bibiceps:** andrew cant be the gamer AND the goth AND the idiot bf

**itsyaboyd:** you know he can just scroll up and read these right andrew

**morosexual:** this is the worst news of my life

**naughtygayweedcrime:** would some dinosaur chicken nuggets that you didnt buy us help?

**morosexual:** yes they absolutely would

**morosexual:** oh my god I am a monster

**morosexual:** how could I deny you guys your chicken nuggets

**morosexual:** why did I not buy them what the fuck

**morosexual:** I'm eating literally all of them btw a bitch is hongry

**dumbfool:** andy what the fuck are you on about

**morosexual:** I am absolutely not saying anything stupid you dumb idiot bitch

**dumbfool:** oh also hello everyone we're back

**dumbfool:** dumb shit has ensued I assume

**itsyaboyd:** he called you effervescent and then started rambling about chicken nuggets

**dumbfool:** and so the morosexual has become the moron 

**morosexual:** that's mean I hope you get ligma

**itsyaboyd:** I'm gonna piss myself

**morosexual:** I said I hope you get ligma

**dumbfool:** you already pulled that on me before and made fun of me I'm not gonna say it again

**morosexual:** neil did you hear about the updog

**dumbfool:** no

**dumbfool:** what the fuck is updog

**naughtygayweedcrime:** holy shit

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

**_itsyaboyd_ ** _has added **dumbfool** to the group_

**dumbfool:** andrew I will kill you

**exyllent:** okay I literally did not know it was possible for andrew to laugh

**exyllent:** and yet he is absolutely losing it rn

**damnwilds:** yeah I'm pretty sure the whole building can hear it kevin

**dumbfool:** oh he laughs but if he ever remembers he lost his shit over THIS in particular...

**dumbfool:** yikes that'll be embarrassing for him

**morosexual:** I got you so fucking good

**morosexual:** cant believe you fell for that you fucking idiot

**morosexual:** you are literally so fucking stupid

**naughtygayweedcrime:** why yall texting arent you literally in the same room

**dumbfool:** mostly to talk to you guys

**dumbfool:** but hes here anyway so like might as well talk to him too

**itsyaboyd:** cant believe it's almost 2019 and andrew used an updog joke

**itsyaboyd:** not what I expected but what I needed tbh

**bibiceps:** yeah he cant make fun of us anymore

**bibiceps:** he used the words effervescent, ligma, and updog all in the same week so

**morosexual:** hey what the fuck was no one gonna tell me I have a clone what the fuck

**dumbfool:** andy thats your brother

**morosexual:** oh right I have one of those

**morosexual:** why is my brother me

**morosexual:** or maybe I'm him???

**morosexual:** what the fuck

**naughtygayweedcrime:** andrew it's called a twin

**morosexual:** oh right I'm one of those

**itsyaboyd:** never thought I'd say this but god I really wish I was in that room w them rn

**itsyaboyd:** the looks on their faces must he fucking priceless

**dumbfool:** kev looks like he needs more alcohol, aaron is laughing his ass off, andrew looks confused, and I need a damn nap

**exyllent:** this is honestly the worst

**exyllent:** like will he be able to practice tomorrow

**exyllent:** I never had my wisdom teeth pulled I have no idea what the fuck is happening

**davidwymack:** christ

**morosexual:** WAIT

**morosexual:** coach before you inevitably mute us all I have one thing to say

**davidwymack:** what

**morosexual:** ligma balls

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sexies, heres this weeks daily dose of bullshit. I've never had my teeth pulled and this is really ooc but this is my fuckin city now and anyone who disagrees is a coward.  
> Comments/kudos are appreciated I love hearing yalls feedback  
> Bother my tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic  
> Also if you wanna join my discord and get sneak peeks at every chapter while I write them and also chill w some cursed people then the link is [here](https://discord.gg/9Z8X4jM)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thestraightminyard: I hate both of you  
> morosexual: I hate both of you  
> itsyaboyd: wow talk about twinsies  
> morosexual: die  
> thestraightminyard: die

**naughtygayweedcrime:** what is UP you spooky motherfuckers

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** yall better be as hyped as I am

 **damnwilds:** I mean

 **damnwilds:** like halloween hell yeah but partying with the monsters again is a gamble

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** hey you made it out alive last time

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** I don't get double drinks this time tho bc neil finally decided to drink his ://

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** anyway what are u guys doing for costumes

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** im a sexy plague doctor

 **itsyyaboyd:** why a sexy one

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** gotta keep up the thot aesthetic

 **itsyaboyd:** oh fair

 **itsyaboyd:** im going in a t rex costume

 **knifelesbian:** me and alli are doing bubblegum and marceline

 **bibiceps:** two iconic wlw going as two iconic wlw

 **bibiceps:** god we really are so intelligent

 **damnwilds:** im doing wonder woman bc we both have great biceps

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** these are all fucking fantastic

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** kevin and neil are the only party poopers

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** they don't have costumes smh 

 **dumbfool:** kevin has a costume

 **dumbfool:** hes going as a little bitch

 **dumbfool:** nvm I forgot you cant dress as yourself

 **exyllent:** hey fuck you

 **exyllent:** im NOT a bitch

 **exyllent:** im not

 **damnwilds:** wait hold up aaron and andrew have costumes?

 **dumbfool:** yeah they have mario and luigi costumes

 **dumbfool:** its awful

 **bibiceps:** neil you better get a costume

 **bibiceps:** anyone not in costume is legally a little bitch ://

 **bibiceps:** plus me and matt have costumes and like bro code dude

 **dumbfool:** have you considered

 **dumbfool:** im too lazy to go to the store at the last minute and last time I let someone pick my costume I was a zombie cowboy

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** hey fuck you it was a great costume

 **dumbfool:** fuck you I looked like a damn fool

 **damnwilds:** you ARE a damn fool

 **dumbfool:** anyway im fine I don't need a costume

 **damnwilds:** hey what did I say about using the f word

 **dumbfool:** w

 **dumbfool:** nicky said it too?

 **dumbfool:** dan you say fuck all the time

 **damnwilds:** no the other one

 **morosexual:** hang on I got this

 **bibiceps:** oh rip neil hes fuckin dead

 **dumbfool:** no he just asked to see my phone for a second

 **dumbfool:** its all good im mario is hot

 **dumbfool:** what

 **dumbfool:** im *mario is hot

 **dumbfool:** mario is hot

 **dumbfool:** what the hell

 **dumbfool:** im trying to say im mario is hot

 **damnwilds:** andrew you fucking genius

 **dumbfool:** why do I keep saying mario is hot im trying to say mario is hot

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** im fucking crying this is fucking great

 **bibiceps:** neil ur doing great sweetie

 **bibiceps:** take ur time

 **dumbfool:** f i n e

 **dumbfool:** THATS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY

 **dumbfool:** WHY DOES IT KEEP SAYING MARIO IS HOT

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** this is the best thing that's ever fucking happening oh my fucking god

 **damnwilds:** andrew thinks sidon is hot and you think mario is hot 

 **damnwilds:** its okay we support u

 **dumbfool:** I do NOT think mario is hot!!!

 **knifelesbian:** that's awfully rude to mario don't you think

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**morosexual** has added **dumbfool** to the group_

**dumbfool:** weren't we talking about halloween or something lets go back to that

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** yeah we were talking about how lame you are for not having a costume

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** you realize that if you don't pick one im just gonna do it again right?

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** obviously its gonna be a sexy one too

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** maybe youll enjoy this sexy minion?  


**morosexual:** nicky don't make me stab you

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** :)

 **bibiceps:** if neil wore that I think I would actually get mesothelioma

 **bibiceps:** or the bubonic plague

 **bibiceps:** PLEASE don't make me look at neil in a sexy minion costume

 **dumbfool:** I don't see why I need a costume anyway

 **dumbfool:** I don't care about the free drinks

 **damnwilds:** its about the halloween spirit not the drinks

 **damnwilds:** plus you could just give your just to nicky again

 **damnwilds:** or andrew

 **exyllent:** its not that hard to get a costume neil

 **dumbfool:** you don't even have one kev

 **exyllent:** don't I?

 **morosexual:** kev if you bring out the juicy booty jorts again youre gonna lose a lot of blood

 **exyllent:** fuck you my ass looked great in those

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** kevin "itll be easier if he remains heterosexual" day

 **exyllent:** listen

 **damnwilds:** this is why ur a bitch kevin

 **exyllent:** I am NOT a bitch!!!

 **exyllent:** why do you guys bully me so much

 **dumbfool:** its fun

 **dumbfool:** also you were a huge asshhole to everyone last year so its payback time

 **dumbfool:** its more fun for me than anyone else except maybe dan bc im vice cap now and can make you do whatever I want on court

 **exyllent:** you've made me do the macarena 4 times this week already and the chicken dance 3

 **exyllent:** make this stop

 **dumbfool:** karmas a bitch huh

 **morosexual:** haha so is he

 **morosexual:** hey make him do the fortnite dances tomorrow

 **damnwilds:** don't you hate fortnite

 **morosexual:** kevin hates them more than I do so itll be funny

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** theyre neat :(

 **morosexual:** the real horror this halloween is nickys taste in dances

 **bibiceps:** or neils taste in clothes

 **damnwilds:** or matts taste in trucks

 **itsyaboyd:** ://

 **bibiceps:** its ugly matt,,

 **dumbfool:** or katelyns taste in men

 **thestraightminyard:** first of all that's fucking rude

 **thestraightminyard:** second, shes not even here to defend herself

 **dumbfool:** oh good point

_**dumbfool** has added **fuckbitchesgetmoney** to the group_

**thestraightminyard:** hey fuck you neil

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** god what am I doing here

 **dumbfool:** katelyn would you say you have a bad taste in men

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** hm

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** yeah

 **thestraightminyard:** wow rude

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** yeah I was going for the other one bc I thought it would be cool to date the best goalie in college exy but turns out I got em mixed up

 **dumbfool:** oh me too I was gonna be the trophy husband of a doctor but now im stuck with the angry one

 **thestraightminyard:** I hate both of you

 **morosexual:** I hate both of you

 **itsyaboyd:** wow talk about twinsies

 **morosexual:** die

 **thestraightminyard:** die

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** can I leave now aaron said this place is a fuckin nightmare

 **dumbfool:** me and andrew have been trying to leave for weeks good luck

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** no shes nice to us she can leave

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** gucci

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** oh and before I leave

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** kevin?

 **exyllent:** yeah

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** bitch

_**fuckbitchesgetmoney** has left the group_

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**naughtygayweedcrime:** hey we didn't say YOU could leave

 **exyllent:** god I need alcohol

 **damnwilds:** how come the minyards are so boring but the people theyre dating are great

 **thestraightminyard:** hey fuck you

 **thestraightminyard:** yeah shes great tho

 **morosexual:** all neil fucking talks about is exy and somehow im the boring one

 **dumbfool:** all you talk about is murder and prince sidon ://

 **morosexual:** your point?

 **bibiceps:** neil is actually a source of comedy for us due to his constant dumbassery

 **bibiceps:** yeah can you read clocks yet buddy?

 **dumbfool:** for your information I can and always have been able to read clocks

 **damnwilds:** neil we've been over this

 **itsyaboyd:** you know being able to read digital clocks doesn't count right

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**itsyaboyd** has added **dumbfool** the the group_

**dumbfool:** you guys fucking suck

 **dumbfool:** I punch rat bitch riko in the face and this is the thanks I get

 **davidwymack:** god I need alcohol

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others for 3 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owo whats this? a katelyn has entered the ring. sorry for the slow update again lmfao ur boi got grouded bc apparently im expected to get the same grades in college as I did in highschool. anyway im writing this instead of the essay im supposed to be doing so my brain is dry on jokes due to my one braincell reading too many political articles.
> 
> kudos/comments are appreciated, i read every comment bc they feed my ego for days and i love knowing yalls favorite parts so i can add more of it
> 
> bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic (even tho im not active on them rn since im grounded lol)
> 
> #Pray4Nico lets hope I get my shit back soon


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> damnwilds: do you guys think if we stacked andrew and aaron on top of eachother would they become regular sized human  
> damnwilds: maybe then they would stop being so cranky and mean all the time  
> dumbfools: jokes on you dan theyre both assholes anyway so we would just get one big mean super asshole  
> morosexual: fuck you  
> thestraightminyard: fuck off

**naughtygayweedcrime:** hey hey motherfuckers

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** I need a fool with a vehicle

 **itsyaboyd:** when and why

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** sometime soon and for christmas shopping

 **morosexual:** I would drive you but unfortunately I don't want to

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** I could drive it

 **morosexual:** I know how you drive nicky you aren't touching my fucking car

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** you let me drive your last car

 **morosexual:** my last car wasn't a maserati

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** :///

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** boo u whore

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** you let neil drive ://

 **bibiceps:** yeah we all know why tho

 **bibiceps:** his username explains it all

 **morosexual:** god I swear im gonna kill all of u some day

 **bibiceps:** you cant kill me or matt

 **morosexual:** that sounds like a challenge

 **morosexual:** allison you know I cant turn down challenges

 **bibiceps:** me and matt are neils bros and if u kill us he'll be sad

 **bibiceps:** ha bitch that shut u up real fast

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has added **morosexual** to the group_

**exyllent:** ha whos the bitch now

 **bibiceps:** its still you kevin

 **bibiceps:** you fucking suck

 **morosexual:** yeah rt

 **dumbfool:** rt

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** rt

 **itsyaboyd:** rt

 **damnwilds:** rt

 **knifelesbian:** rt

 **thestraightminyard:** rt

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**bibiceps** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**bibiceps:** why do you clowns even try and leave anymore

 **bibiceps:** like it should be obvious that it isn't gonna work

 **dumbfool:** one can only hope to leave this hellscape someday

 **dumbfool:** might as well keep trying

 **exyllent:** its never gonna work

 **exyllent:** somehow on the exy court your motivation is zero but when youre trying to fuck with us somehow every single one of you has dedication

 **damnwilds:** that's bc its really fun to fuck with you guys

 **damnwilds:** you especially but fucking with neil and andrew is pretty funny too

 **morosexual:** someday

 **morosexual:** someday i'll never have to associate with any of you clowns again

 **itsyaboyd:** jokes on you knucklehead me and allison are neils best friends so youll have to deal with us until the grave

 **morosexual:** matt that's the worst thing you've literally ever said to me and you've called me both quadzilla and the beefiest cake

 **itsyaboyd:** actually neil called you quadzilla first and its not my fault youre built like a god damn brick house

 **dumbfool:** hes right I said quadzilla first hes just the one who keeps bringing it up

 **itsyaboyd:** yeah bc its fucking funny

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**itsyaboyd** has added **morosexual** to the group_

**morosexual:** every day just gets worse and worse

 **dumbfool:** at least theyre afraid of you

 **dumbfool:** according to dan and matt and allison im a small young baby so they always feel the need to ruffle my hair

 **damnwilds:** no regrets my guy ur hairs soft as shit

 **damnwilds:** when you wash it at least

 **itsyaboyd:** yeah plus its like there since ur so tiny

 **dumbfool:** I would take offense to that but im not the shortest one here so im still not technically losing

 **morosexual:** fuck off youre literally three inches taller than me

 **dumbool:** haha shortie how does it feel not being able to reach things

 **dumbfool:** and having to crawl on the counter to get to the cupboard

 **dumbfool:** and never being able to see over anyones heads in a crowd

 **itsyaboyd:** neil yesterday you asked me to grab you like three things off the top shelf

 **itsyaboyd:** and remember when you climbed the fridge

 **dumbfool:** hey fuck off matt what about bro code

 **itsyaboyd:** bro code doesn't apply when making fun of short people

 **itsyaboyd:** and as the tallest one here I get the luxury of making fun of all of you

 **damnwilds:** do you guys think if we stacked andrew and aaron on top of eachother would they become regular sized human

 **damnwilds:** maybe then they would stop being so cranky and mean all the time

 **dumbfools:** jokes on you dan theyre both assholes anyway so we would just get one big mean super asshole

 **morosexual:** fuck you

 **thestraightminyard:** fuck off

 **morosexual:** and ill have you know dan that I have not nor ever will say one nice thing ever

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** that's a lie ive heard you say nice things to neil before

 **morosexual:** this is false and a lie

 **dumbfool:** he has said one (1) nice thing ever and it was to a cat

 **bibiceps:** haha furry

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** wow a cat person I see

 **morosexual:** listen im not in this group chat to get called out

 **morosexual:** in fact im not even here by my free will bc some people wont let me leave but my point remains

 **dumbfool:** its only fair since I get called out and bullied all the time

 **bibiceps:** its not our fault that you have like half a braincell and terrible clothes and don't possess the ability to read clocks

 **dumbfool:** how many times to I have to tell you clowns that I am perfectly capable of reading clocks

 **damnwilds:** eyes emoji thinking emoji odd that you now have a digital watch on your wrist isn't it

 **dumbfool:** okay so I want to get a better watch and upgrade my technology and that's a crime??

 **bibiceps:** you still have a fucking dinosaur of a phone tho

 **dumbfool:** no???? I don't have a flip phone anymore I have one that slides out

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** this is going to give me an aneurism

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** neil youre literally an old man and youre 20

 **dumbfool:** listen

 **dumbfool:** just because I don't understand your fortnight and your despacito and your mined craft doesn't make me an idiot

 **itsyaboyd:** neil I want you to know that that's literally the best sentence you've ever said

 **morosexual:** you are literally such a fucking idiot

 **knifelesbian:** to be fair tho he hasn't exactly been able to keep up with any memes

 **thestraightminyard:** he didn't know that frogs hibernate renee

 **thestraightminyard:** or that squids were real

 **thestraightminyard:** or how to read clocks

 **thestraightminyard:** aren't you literally a math major how can you not read clocks

 **dumbfool:** okay well sorry mister doctor man this brain of mine can only hold so much information

 **morosexual:** that sounds tragic

 **morosexual:** all of you guys have such easy homework

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** weird flex but ok

 **dumbfool:** literally fuck you

 **thestraightminyard:** I will fucking deck you again andrew I swear to god

 **morosexual:** do it pussy lets see if I ever help you with it again

 **davidwymack:** hey whoever broke into my apartment just to put cereal in the toilet go fuck yourself

 **exyllent:** haha guilty I was really drunk

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others for 4 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still grounded lmfao #Pray4Nico anyway I was writing this while I was supposed to be writing a paper and I know its been a hot minute since the last update but I got the whole thing done and then I accidentally thanosed the tab and got really mad so this should've been up like two weeks ago but ive been in the middle of moving my room and also college fuckin sucks so like. anyway whats up you sexey fools im back on my bullshit. also @ any shorties out there sorry for this chapter but my tall genes gotta flex.  
> kudos/comments are appreciated i love hearing yalls thoughts  
> bother my currently inactive tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic which is also on hiatus due to my grounding


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exyllent: with you clowns around what do I have of my dignity to lose. all of it is gone. you guys are shit.  
> exyllent: youre all killing me you know  
> exyllent: youre killing your friend  
> itsyaboyd: oh no if you were gone we'd have to demote someone else to bitch status

**naughtygayweedcrime:** hello fools

**naughtygayweedcrime:** so lets say that hypothetically I got hammered while bowling and hypothetically threw a ball into the ceiling and hypothetically owe the bowling alley a fuck ton of money

**naughtygayweedcrime:** does anyone have the hypothetical funds to help me out with that

**dumbfool:** whats bowling

**exyllent:** r u fuckin serious neil

**dumbfool:** no im fucking with you

**dumbfool:** jeez I know what bowling is

**dumbfool:** im not THAT dumb christ

**exyllent:** and nicky r u fuckin serious

**exyllent:** how do you fuck up that badly 

**naughtylgayweedcrime:** listen don't try to shame me as if you haven't done some wack shit while drunk

**naughtygayweedcrime:** need I bring up the cereal in coachs toilet again

**dumbfool:** hey andy whats bowling

**dumbfool:** oh fuck this isn't private messages

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has added **dumbfool** to the group_

**naughtygayweedcrime:** neil you know damn well I aint letting you leave after you say some shit like that

**exyllent:** christ

**morosexual:** ignoring the fact that nicky threw a fucking bowling ball into a ceiling this is the dumbest shit ive ever seen

**thestraightminyard:** how are any of you clowns surprised by this shit anymore

**itsyaboyd:** okay heres a great and fantastic idea

**itsyaboyd:** we need to take neil bowling

**bibiceps:** matt I wholeheartedly agree and would like to say that you are a fucking genius

**dumbfool:** you prolly only wanna go to take video of me being a dumbass

**bibiceps:** yes and I take no shame in that I have blackmail on every one of you buffoons

**morosexual:** this in fact is a shitty idea that will end in nothing but chaos so hard pass on that

**thestraightminyard:** you only don't wanna go bc you fucking suck at bowling

**morosexual:** that's a fucking lie im great at bowling

**bibiceps:** oh well why don't you show us then

**morosexual:** allison god dammit you KNOW I cant pass up a fucking challenge

**dumbfool:** its the primitive monkey brain

**thestraightminyard:** oh maybe your brain is constantly stuck in primitive mode which is why you don't know fuck or shit about anything

**dumbfool:** I literally didn't ask for this what have I done to deserve this

**itsyaboyd:** neil you've never done anything wrong in your life ever and as you bro its my duty to defend your honor

**itsyaboyd:** wheres this clown at

**morosexual:** unfortunately you aren't allowed to toss him out a window this time

**itsyaboyd:** it was ONE time

**itsyaboyd:** and the first floor so he only fell like three feet

**itsyaboyd:** AND the window was open

**dumbfool:** he did deserve that one

**thestraightminyard:** ALL I DID WAS SAY THAT LION KING ISNT THAT GREAT OF A MOVIE

**morosexual:** yes an unfortunate opinion and inexcusable crime

**naughtygayweedcrime:** smh next youre gonna say that undertale was a shitty game

**thestraightminyard:** ...

**thestraightminyard:** I mean...

**morosexual:** wow

**naughtygayweedcrime:** #NotMyCousin

**dumbfool:** oh I actually know what that is

**dumbfool:** love that funky little bone man

**bibiceps:** this is the worst how does neil know what undertale is but not bowling

**dumbfool:** andy was playing it

**naughtygayweedcrime:** ive played fortnite with you in the vicinity and you still don't know what that is

**naughtygayweedcrime:** or maybe youre just fucking with us and you aren't actually as dense as you seem

**morosexual:** no he is

**exyllent:** yeah 100%

**exyllent:** yesterday I was watching tik toks and he asked me who tracer was and why people want to be her

**exyllent:** the worst moment of my life

**bibiceps:** kevin why were you watching tik toks

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**bibiceps** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**exyllent:** listen,,,,

**exyllent:** with you clowns around what do I have of my dignity to lose. all of it is gone. you guys are shit.

**exyllent:** youre all killing me you know

**exyllent:** youre killing your friend

**itsyaboyd:** oh no if you were gone we'd have to demote someone else to bitch status

**itsyaboyd:** I vote aaron

**thestraightminyard:** what the fuck

**thestraightminyard:** what about neil hes kevins mini me

**dumbfool:** they make fun of me enough I cant be a bitch too

**thestraightminyard:** they may make fun of you but you've never had matt throw you out a window have you

**dumbfool:** its not my fault I have taste and know that lion king is in fact a great movie

**itsyaboyd:** I could never live with myself if I threw my bro out the window

**itsyaboyd:** who would I have to smother in hugs

**damnwilds:** you smother everyone with hugs anyway babe

**damnwilds:** no complaints tho ur big warm

**bibiceps:** rt

**knifelesbian:** rt

**naughtygayweedcrime:** rt

**dumbfool:** rt

**itsyaboyd:** wow honestly fuck kevin aaron and andrew lives they didn't rt

**naughtygayweedcrime:** smh kids these days

**morosexual:** haha old man

**naughtygayweedcrime:** wow

**naughtygayweedcrime:** ive honestly never been more offended

**naughtygayweedcrime:** this is a bigger injustice than not letting me drive your car

**morosexual:** nicky you threw a fucking bowling ball into the ceiling why would I let you drive my maserati

**naughtygayweedcrime:** listen that was in my past

**morosexual:** that was like 20 minutes ago

**exyllent:** this whole groupchat is a fucking trainwreck

**exyllent:** you people drain the life out of me

**bibiceps:** I mean did you even have any life force beforehand

**exyllent:** why do you always feel the need to be mean to me allison

**bibiceps:** its fun

**bibiceps:** also youre an asshole on court so its only fair

**exyllent:** maybe I wouldn't be an asshole if you yahoos would actually play the damn game

**bibiceps:** no its too fun recording you have tantrums

**bibiceps:** there'll be a compilation on youtube someday and that will be my greatest accomplishment

**knifelesbian:** honestly your greatest accomplishment is dating me

**bibiceps:** god youre so fucking right

**bibiceps:** the world really said fuck everyone else and blessed me the most huh

**naughtygayweedcrime:** god wow this shits adorable

**itsyaboyd:** speaking of adorable anyone notice that neil calls andrew andy

**itsyaboyd:** catch me crying in the damn club

**dumbfool:** oh well I was informed by a student in my calc class that there was already a campus squirrel named andrew

**dumbfool:** and I couldn't just change its name like that so

**dumbfool:** Human Andrew got sick of me saying Human Andrew and Squirrel Andrew

**dumbfool:** and here we are

**itsyaboyd:** that's not at all what I was expecting but its honestly better

**morosexual:** christ

**davidwymack:** yahoos, the lot of you

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds.** \+ 7 others for 2 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Pray4Nico lmfao im still grounded but my monkey brain is still pumping out jokes and I don't want to forget them so im still back on my bullshit. also I was gonna add a part abt andrew having a pic of neil laughing in his wallet but I couldn't fit it anywhere so maybe next time uwu.  
> anyway kudos/comments are appreciated bc I thrive off of validation and I love hearing yalls feedback  
> bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic but theyre both inactive rn bc ur bois still grounded


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumbfool: but how does one even remember what all those doodads do  
> thestraightminyard: not all of us have the very limited brain capacity that you do  
> morosexual: sucks to be all of you guys  
> morosexual: my mind is constantly in beast mode  
> thestraightminyard: gotta be real w you chief I hate literally every single word you just said

**dumbfool:** hey who knows how to use the twitter

**damnwilds:** the twitter

**dumbfool:** yeah I made one at the repeated requests of nicky but idk how it works

**thestraightminyard:** wow a surprise to no one

**dumbfool:** shut up ugly

**thestraightminyard:** how many damn times I gotta say ur dating someone who literally looks exactly like me smh

**morosexual:** no clearly im the attractive one

**bibiceps:** okay literally who cares im more invested in neil getting twitter

**itsyaboyd:** how are you liking it so far bro

**dumbfool:** how do I do a tweet????

**dumbfool:** I want to make fun of kev and call him a bitch

**dumbfool:** hold on let me figure this dumb shit out

**itsyaboyd:** what a beautiful fucking moron

**bibiceps:** cast your votes is he gonna love twitter or hate it

**naughtygayweedcrime:** hes a petty bitch like me and fucking thrives off of drama and calling people out

**naughtygayweedcrime:** once he figures out how to use it hes gonna love it

**exyllent:** its also full of memes that hes not gonna understand tho

**damnwilds:** his first three tweets are "what" "hello" and "hey andy how does twitter work" this shits so fucking funny

**naughtygayweedcrime:** how is this man 20

**dumbfool:** okay im back and am still confused

**dumbfool:** oh I see dan has already called me out

**dumbfool:** someone just made a comment on my tweet that says "wow our favorite chaotic twink is here to fucking clown all you crackheads" what the fuck does that mean????

**morosexual:** hey kevin wheres your alcohol

**dumbfool:** what do they mean crackheads is twitter for drug addicts or smth??

**itsyaboyd:** no a lot of people just act like crackheads

**dumbfool:** why would you act like a crackhead

**dumbfool:** crackheads aren't role models

**naughtygayweedcrime:** "crackheads aren't role models" - neil josten 2018

**naughtygayweedcrime:** truly an icon for the kids

**exyllent:** not really

**exyllent:** nicky theres literally a 5 minute compilation of him telling the press to fuck off

**naughtygayweedcrime:** yes truly an icon for the kids

**bibiceps:** kevin do u know how many pictures I have of u drinking

**bibiceps:** in fact idk if I even have pics where you weren't either drinking or drunk

**exyllent:** hey this isn't about me

**exyllent:** youre just mad I can handle more alcohol than you

**bibiceps:** and youre just mad I get more pussy than you

**naughtygayweedcrime:** god this is so sad 

**naughtygayweedcrime:** yall know what tf to do

**bibceps:** f

**knifelesbian:** f

**itsyaboyd:** f

**damnwilds:** f

**morosexual:** f

**exyllent:** you guys fucking suck

**exyllent:** hate this fucking team

**exyllent:** big shoutout to neil and allison for being the biggest fuck off bastards in this part of town

**bibiceps:** big shoutout to kevin for being the biggest bitch

_**exyllent** has left the group_

**dumbfool:** hahah what a big bitch

_**dumbfool** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**exyllent:** someday all of you are gonna regret being mean to me

**bibiceps:** me? not fucking likely

**dumbfool:** yeah its honestly fun more than anything else

**naughtygayweedcrime:** you deserve to be bullied you watch tik toks

**exyllent:** okay listen

**dumbfool:** oh no one told me what tracer is

**dumbfool:** why do people want it

**naughtygayweedcrime:** heres a fantastic idea everyone lets turn neil into a gamer

**naughtygayweedcrime:** he can rise up w the rest of us

**dumbfool:** I don't even like games

**dumbfool:** actually andy has a cat game on his phone and that one is acceptable

**bibiceps:** a cat game

**bibiceps:** andrew do you play neko atsume

**naughtygayweedcrime:** wow cant believe so many people are getting exposed today

**dumbfool:** anyway I hate the game controllers theres too many buttons

**dumbfool:** and my fine motor skills are slightly fucked

**dumbfool:** but how does one even remember what all those doodads do

**thestraightminyard:** not all of us have the very limited brain capacity that you do

**morosexual:** sucks to be all of you guys

**morosexual:** my mind is constantly in beast mode

**thestraightminyard:** gotta be real w you chief I hate literally every single word you just said

**morosexual:** not my fault you all have such small feeble minds

**morosexual:** most of you are human brain and some of you are galaxy brain

**morosexual:** I however am universe brain

**itsyaboyd:** weird flex but ok

**morosexual:** neil you are monkey brain

**dumbfool:** yeah that's fair

**dumbfool:** no fucking idea what any of that means but I assume its fair

**naughtygayweedcrime:** wait who are the galaxy brains

**morosexual:** tragic for you but ive spoken to you clowns long enough today so now im leaving

**naughtygayweedcrime:** ur gonna go play deltarune aren't you

**naughtygayweedcrime:** a true gamer

**bibiceps:** still cant believe andrew is the goth bf AND the gamer bf

**bibiceps:** neil what do you even do

**dumbfool:** I ask myself that every day

**itsyaboyd:** well we know he bird watches and squirrel watches

**dumbfool:** yeah its interesting all the campus squirrels have linked up and I believe theyre all in a gang against the birds

**dumbfool:** to be fair the birds deserve it bc theyre assholes but the birds were here first

**dumbfool:** and the birds haven't bit me yet but they do shit on peoples cars

**dumbfool:** but im rooting for the squirrels still bc ive been watching this drama play out

**dumbfool:** and it seems like the squirrels are more mindful of the students and are more willing to share the campus

**dumbfool:** plus the birds are annoying and they also shit on the roof

**itsyaboyd:** is this what you spend all day thinking about

**dumbfool:** yeah

**thestraightminyard:** well now we know hes fucking dumb as rocks

**thestraightminyard:** he spends all day thinking about squirrel gangs instead of useful things

**dumbfool:** when the bird squirrel war happens and youre on the wrong side you wont be talking shit

**knifelesbian:** did you say a squirrel bit you

**dumbfool:** yeah

**knifelesbian:** so why are you on the squirrel side

**knifelesbian:** they seem like assholes

**dumbfool:** yeah a little bit but if you leave them be theyre fine

**dumbfool:** they don't make noise all damn day like birds do

**itsyaboyd:** birds are pretty tho

**dumbfool:** hey the squirrels aren't ugly fuck you

**itsyaboyd:** they aren't ugly but like

**itsyaboyd:** birds are better

_**thestraightminyard** has left the group_

**itsyaboyd:** wow rude

_**itsyaboyd** has added **thestraightminyard** to the group_

**thestraightminyard:** please let me leave this fucking hell

**thestraightminyard:** this place is full of fucking gamers and dumbasses

**naughtygayweedcrime:** aaron you say that as if you aren't also a dumbass gamer

**thestraightminyard:** im a fucking biochem major im not a dumbass

**dumbfool:** oh so you can use your major as a reason you aren't a dumbass but I cant

**thestraightminyard:** youre really gonna try and say you aren't a dumbass after everything that's happened today

**dumbfool:** fuck off

**dumbfool:** I said this once and ill say it again but just because I don't understand your despacito and your twitter and your wigs doesn't make me an idiot

**davidwymack:** god this really does just get worse and worse every week huh

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others for 6 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello sexies im back at it again with my outdated memes since im grounded and have no fucking clue whats happening in the meme world. on an unrelated not college is garbage and FUCK my chem teacher hes an absolute bastard. glad these shit classes only last for like another week and a half and then I have like a month to sit around and do absolutely nothing which is my favorite hobby.  
> anyway kudos/comments are appreciated I thrive off of validation so :persevere:  
> bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic. both are currently inactive since ur boi is grounded but ill be back on my grind at some point  
> #Pray4Nico @ every divine authority please give this poor soul their phone back


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exyllent: fuck off I hate literally all of you
> 
> morosexual: at least I dont watch anime
> 
> exyllent: oh so its one of those days huh
> 
> thestraightminyard: you deserve it
> 
> exyllent: aaron you watch anime too

**naughtygayweedcrime:** hey can someone get me this for christmas

  
  
**morosexual:** absolutely not  
  
**naughtygayweedcrime:** ://  
  
**naughtygayweedcrime:** dream crusher  
  
**naughtygayweedcrime:** you let kevin get the juicy booty shorts  
  
**morosexual:** kevin bought those himself and I fucking hate them  
  
**exyllent:** wow fake friend  
  
**exyllent:** anyway all of us own shitty clothes you cant only shame me and nicky  
  
**naughtygayweedcrime:** yeah like aaron has a fuckboy suns out guns out tank top  
  
**naughtygayweedcrime:** and everything neil own is garbage  
  
**dumbfool:** hey  
  
**naughtygayweedcrime:** and dan wears crocs  
  
**damnwilds:** they comfortable  
  
**morosexual:** what's your point nicky  
  
**morosexual:** all of you are garbage I know that already  
  
**itsyaboyd:** petition for andrew to stop bein a whiny lil bitch  
  
**dumbfool:** itll never work  
  
**morosexual:** hey kev is the bitch not me  
  
**exyllent:** fuck off I hate literally all of you  
  
**morosexual:** at least I dont watch anime  
  
**exyllent:** oh so its one of those days huh  
  
**thestraightminyard:** you deserve it  
  
**exyllent:** aaron you watch anime too

_**thestraightminyard** has left the group _

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has added **thestraightminyard** to the group_

  
**naughtygayweedcrime:** wow and you make fun of me  
  
**bibiceps:** you guys deserve to be oppressed  
  
**exyllent:** at least you havent had to sit through nicky ranting for 2 hours about how naruto and sasuke are in love  
  
**naughtygayweedcrime:** I'm right and I should say it  
  
**dumbfool:** tbh yeah kishimoto is a damn fool and there is no way naruto spent 2 years bringing sasuke back just to be a heterosexual  
  
**morosexual:** wait what the fuck  
  
**morosexual:** when the fuck did you watch naruto  
  
**dumbfool:** oh you know  
  
**morosexual:** neil we're breaking up immediately this is unacceptable

 **bibiceps:** so now we know neils the anime bf

 **dumbfool:** nicky kept talking abt wanting all might to smash him and I didnt know who the fuck it was

 **dumbfool:** so I want her the show and it wasnt bad so he had me watch naruto

 **morosexual:** unbelievable

 **morosexual:** I expect this bullshit from nicky not you neil

 **morosexual:** absolute traitor

 **morosexual:** I am a damn fool for thinking you had decent taste

 **dumbfool:** you are a fool for even thinking that in the first place tbh

 **dumbfool:** have you seen my clothes?

 **dumbfool:** plus I mean I'm dating you so ://

 **bibiceps:** cant believe I'm witnessing the murder of andrew

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** can I default dance on the grave

 **morosexual:** if you do I'll come back just to kill you

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** would you say that, as a gamer, you would be rising up?

 **morosexual:** if anyone have a very large rock or perhaps a brick could you throw it at my head as hard as possible

 **morosexual:** hopefully that will knock me out so I never have to see any of your garbage faces again

 **exyllent:** no we need you for goalie

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** is exy literally all you ever think about

 **exyllent:** pretty much yeah

 **exyllent:** what else would I think about

 **bibiceps:** I dont know, ever try having a life?

 **exyllent:** fuck everyone here but allison especially

 **bibiceps:** thank you

 **exyllent:** and I do have a life allison it's called exy

 **bibiceps:** do me a favor and literally never say that again

 **exyllent:** why should I you never do anything nice for me

 **bibiceps:** not true I told you how awful your haircut was once

 **exyllent:** okay yeah but when I got it fixed you still laughed at me

 **bibiceps:** yeah it's just fun to laugh at people who are you

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** oh phat rt

 **morosexual:** rt

 **dumbfool:** rt

 **itsyaboyd:** rt

 **thestraightminyard:** rt

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**bibiceps** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**bibiceps:** anyway we've just learned that neil, in fact, is a huge fucking nerd that watches anime so now we gotta oppress him too

 **dumbfool:** dont I face enough oppression from you clowns

 **dumbfool:** the gc may as well be called "Make Fun of Neil Until Coach Mutes Us All"

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** oh that's a good idea

 **dumbfool:** no dont

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has renamed the group **"Make Fun of Neil Until Coach Mutes Us All** "_

**dumbfool:** hate this fucking team

 **exyllent:** why dont me you and aaron link up so we can fight these buffoons

 **dumbfool:** hell no

 **dumbfool:** I'd rather die a hero than live long enough to see myself become the villain

 **dumbfool:** and by villain I mean someone who would willingly side with you and aaron

 **dumbfool:** plus if me and aaron are on your side then that means andrew will be too and he'll never shut the fuck up and stop complaining about it

 **morosexual:** this is true

 **exyllent:** tbh that sounds like a you problem

 **exyllent:** he never spends enough time w me and aaron to complain for extended periods of time

 **morosexual:** yeah that's also true

 **thestraightminyard:** why do we always end up here

 **exyllent:** what, being oppressed and bullied?

 **thestraightminyard:** yeah that too ig but I meant having dumbass conversations

 **exyllent:** at least I only get called a bitch like 5 times a day now instead of 20

 **morosexual:** hey kevin

 **exyllent:** what

 **exyllent:** wait no dont do it

 **morosexual:** bitch

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**morosexual** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**davidwymack:** is bitch really the best insult you can come up with for him

 **bibiceps:** what you got any better

 **davidwymack:** yes I keep a list

 **davidwymack:** for all of you

 **davidwymack:** anyway

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others for 6 hours _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sexy beasts guess whomst the fuck is finally ungrounded. Anyway this chapter is kinda short but I ran out of ideas so that just how it be.  
> Kudos/comments are appreciated I love validation and feedback  
> Bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic, both of which are now as active and sexy as ever


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exyllent: I'm not a snitch this is slander
> 
> dumbfool: um remember that time I fucked up my wrist for a couple days and you and coach told me to stay off the court but I practiced anyway
> 
> dumbfool: and then you went and told andrew on me?
> 
> dumbfool: bc I do
> 
> dumbfool: fucking snitch

**naughtygayweedcrime:** happy holidays motherfuckers

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** yall ever get like. horny but for the holidays

 **thestraightminyard:** excited?

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** yes thank you aaron

 **morosexual:** wow 17 words have been said and I already wanna die

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** is that a record

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** do I get an award

 **morosexual:** no

 **morosexual:** all kevin has to do is say anything and it makes me wanna die bc it's always about exy

 **exyllent:** asshole

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** anyway I have the perfect party planned

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** its gonna be SEXY

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** we're gonna be WASTED

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** and your better BELIEVE we're doing a drunk last minute secret santa since I know yall asses didnt buy shit

 **morosexual:** no

 **dumbfool:** the fucks a secret santa

 **damnwilds:** it's where we each randomly draw the name of another teammate and secretly buy them something and they have to guess who it was

 **dumbfool:** hm

 **dumbfool:** sounds fun in theory but kev nicky and allison are the snitchiest bitches I've ever met

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** that's fair

 **exyllent:** first I'm a bitch and now I'm a snitch huh. fuck you josten

 **dumbfool:** no

 **dumbfool:** you're a bitch AND a snitch. a snitch ass bitch if you will

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**dumbfool** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**exyllent:** I'm not a snitch this is slander

 **dumbfool:** um remember that time I fucked up my wrist for a couple days and you and coach told me to stay off the court but I practiced anyway

 **dumbfool:** and then you went and told andrew on me?

 **dumbfool:** bc I do

 **dumbfool:** fucking snitch

 **exyllent:** he wouldve found out anyway

 **morosexual:** this is true

 **exyllent:** also I didn't want to get choked out again

 **exyllent:** hes 5 feet of whoop ass thats for damn sure

 **morosexual:** literally never say that again

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** 5 feet of whoop ass, beefiest cake, quadzilla, anything else to add to the list?

 **morosexual:** die.

 **morosexual:** all of you.

 **morosexual:** cease to exist.

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** :)

 **damnwilds:** anyway nicky is actually really good at secret santa

 **damnwilds:** no ones ever been able to guess who hes had before

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** I'm just fucking great babey!

 **dumbfool:** bullshit

 **bibiceps:** no it's true hes the biggest fucking gossip on the team

 **bibiceps:** besides maybe me

 **bibiceps:** but thay means he knows like everything about everyone and always knows what to get them

 **dumbfool:** huh

 **dumbfool:** a surprising turn of events

 **damnwilds:** anyway who's in/out this year

 **damnwilds:** of the andcrew at least. we know everyone else is doing it

 **exyllent:** fine I will but only because if I dont yall are gonna call me a bitch

 **bibiceps:** we can do that anyways if you want

 **damnwilds:** aaron?

 **thestraightminyard:** sure

 **thestraightminyard:** I mean I'm not the boring twin ://

 **morosexual:** is that a challenge

 **morosexual:** god DAMN it

 **morosexual:** all of you KNOW how I am with challenges I cant pass up a fucking challenge

 **morosexual:** fucking piece of shit stubborn genes 

 **damnwilds:** cant believe we got both aaron AND andrew to do it this year

 **itsyaboyd:** it's safe to assume neil will be joining in too then right

 **dumbfool:** sure why not

 **itsyaboyd:** hell yeah

 **morosexual:** if whoever gets my name gets me a garbage gift I WILL stab you

 **dumbfool:** yeah guys remember how he wants nothing ever

 **morosexual:** this is morophobia

 **morosexual:** anyway smash ultimate came out a couple weeks ago and if I dont have it within my garbage little fingers within the next few days we're gonna have a problem

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** phat mood!

 **bibiceps:** haha gamers

 **dumbfool:** the fuck is smash ultimate

 **morosexual:** this is so fucking tragic

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** f

 **bibiceps:** f

 **damnwilds:** f

 **itsyaboyd:** f

 **exyllent:** oh no you've offended the gamers

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** dont say that as if you arent a gamer too

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** I've seen what you do on minecraft

 **exyllent:** are you minecraftshaming me?

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** it's what you deserve

 **thestraightminyard:** nicky you literally play fortnite

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** yeah and I'm fucking good at it

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** [default dance music faintly playing in the background]

 **thestraightminyard:** you didnt have to write that out I can hear it through the walls

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** you're welcome

 **dumbfool:** you fucking people these days what with all your games and fucking fortnites and twitters

 **dumbfool:** learn how to read books idiots

 **morosexual:** I saw you on my fucking ps4 playing spiderman dont try and shame us

_**dumbfool** has left the group_

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has added **dumbfool** to the group_

**naughtygayweedcrime:** HOLD up

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** neil you play spiderman and you didnt tell me

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** I am heartbroken

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** distraught

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** absolutely fucking betrayed

 **dumbfool:** this is a lie I would never I dont even know who spiderman is

 **morosexual:** slander I've never lied in my life

 **dumbfool:** okay Mr "no I didnt eat your fruit snacks" As I'm Watching You Eat My Fucking Fruit Snacks

_**morosexual** has left the group_

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has added **morosexual** to the group_

**naughtygayweedcrime:** the plot fucking thickens

 **bibiceps:** god and they say romance is dead

 **bibiceps:** true love is just calling eachother out all the fucking time

 **knifelesbian:** haha yeah alli like all those times you steal all the blankets

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** wow allison confirmed blanket hog

 **knifelesbian:** shes the little spoon too :)

 **bibiceps:** no shame in that I love being cradled especially by your huge lesbian muscles

 **itsyaboyd:** oh phat rt on that

 **damnwilds:** yeah matts the little spoon like 80% of the time

 **itsyaboyd:** your arms..... a cup....

 **itsyaboyd:** they hold me...

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** ugh god literally shut the fuck up all of you this is the cutest shit ever you know how sappy I am

 **davidwymack:** why do I even bother muting you clowns anymore

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others for 5 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello gamers I'm back at it again. I know it's been a hot minute since I've updated but I had like finals and holidays and also my brain just doesnt work sometimes.  
> Anyway kudos/comments are appreciated bc my narcissistic ass thrives off of validation  
> Bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumbfool: that's it
> 
> dumbfool has changed their name to hornyphobe
> 
> naughtygayweedcrime: I see how it is
> 
> naughtygayweedcrime has changed their name to antineil
> 
> morosexual: crackheadery
> 
> hornyphobe has changed their name to morophobe

**naughtygayweedcrime:** guys code red

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** I just realized neil is the only one on our team without a piercing

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** unacceptable and we need to get him one right away

 **dumbfool:** kev doesnt have a piercing tho??

 **exyllent:** oh you know ;)

 **bibiceps:** jesus dont add the wink of makes it sound like you got a dick piercing

 **exyllent:** how do you know I dont

 **bibiceps:** bc you're too much of a pussy and cried when you got your nose pierced

 **dumbfool:** kevin has his nose pierced

 **bibiceps:** yeah he was drunk when he did it lmfaoooo

 **dumbfool:** okay wait I know dan and nicky have those sick ear piercings and and matts got the septum ring

 **dumbfool:** but I didnt know anyone else had piercings wtf

 **bibiceps:** belly ring

 **knifelesbian:** eyebrow

 **thestraightminyard:** I have a single ear pierced on a dare

 **dumbfool:** I am

 **dumbfool:** such an idiot

 **dumbfool:** how did I not see these things

 **bibiceps:** it's okay its not the stupidest thing you've done

 **damnwilds:** "where do frogs go in the winter"

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** "are squids real"

 **exyllent:** "yeah I can totally read clocks"

 **thestraightminyard:** yeah yeah neils dumb as shit we know that already

 **thestraightminyard:** andrew has a piercing and no one thought to tell me about that?

 **thestraightminyard:** I cant be fucking upstaged by him

 **dumbfool:** haha who's the idiot now

 **dumbfool:** it's a tongue piercing

 **thestraightminyard:** of course youd know that

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** fuckin hardcore

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** not as swagalicious as my industrial bar tho

 **morosexual:** if you ever say that again I'm gonna rip all your teeth out

  **naughtygayweedcrime:** anyway neil needs to get one so we're all matching

 **dumbfool:** nah I have other things to be doing with my time

 **itsyaboyd:** damn and ur gonna be willing to live with the fact that youd be more of a bitch than kevin? 

 **dumbfool:** hm actually I've changed my mind and piercings sound cool

 **itsyaboyd:** wow that took almost no convincing

 **dumbfool:** do YOU want to be a bigger bitch than kevin?

 **itsyaboyd:** okay u know what ur right

 **exyllent:** literally how am I a bitch I got my nose pierced didnt i????

 **bibiceps:** yeah, while you were drunk and crying about not wanting to fuck it up and look like voldemort

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** idk why that's a worry, voldy was hot

 **bibiceps:** nicky I will arrest you for horny crimes on main

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** you can arrest me but you cant silence me

 **exyllent:** nicky's always horny on main if you arrested him every time he'd have a life sentence

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** that's just how it is babey!

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** horny rights!

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** guys I'm gonna start a twitch stream for horny rights just like that guy who played donkey kong for like 3 days

 **knifelesbian:** donkey kong said trans rights!

 **dumbfool:** hell yeah

 **dumbfool:** also who's donkey kong

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** are you fr

 **dumbfool:** no I know who fucking donkey kong is nicky

 **knifelesbian:** donkey kong is trans now

 **dumbfool:** hell yeah he is

 **knifelesbian:** the three of us are trans solidarity and there isnt a single force on earth that can stop us

 **naughtygayweedcrime:** the trifecta of chaos is just neils trash talk, renees lovely lesbian muscles, and just the raw amounts of sexy power that donkey kong holds

 **dumbfool:** that's it

_**dumbfool** has changed their name to **hornyphobe**_

**naughtygayweedcrime:** I see how it is

_**naughtygayweedcrime** has changed their name to **antineil**_

**morosexual:** crackheadery

_**hornyphobe** has changed their name to **morophobe**_

_**morosexual** has changed their name to **norightsforneil**_

_**antineil** has changed their name to **hornyrights**_

_**thestraightminyard** has left the group_

_**hornyrights** has added **thestraightminyard** to the group_

**thestraightminyard:** let me LEAVE

 **hornyrights:** cranky bc my cheeks clap harder than yours arent you

_**thestraightminyard** has left the group_

_**morophobe** has left the group_

_**norightsforneil** has left the group_

**exyllent:** neil had the right idea

_**exyllent** has changed their name to **antihorndogs**_

**hornyrights:** you really think you can part from an exy related name?

 **antihorndogs:** ......

_**antihorndogs** has changed their name to **exyllent**_

**hornyrights:** that's what I thought bitch

 **hornyrights:** anyway

_**hornyrights** has added **thestraightminyard, morophobe,** and **norightsforneil** to the group_

_**norightsforneil** has changed their name to **norightsfornicky**_

**hornyrights:** ://

 **hornyrights:** you guys just cant handle the truth

 **hornyrights:** donkey kings just a sexy little bitch! And hes my main on smash

 **exyllent:** nicky's a furry confirmed

 **hornyrights:** if I'm a furry then so is andrew he wants to fuck fish prince from zelda

 **exyllent:** who doesnt

_**hornyrights** has changed **norightsfornicky** 's name to **andruwu**_

**andruwu:** I will kill you myself

 **davidwymack:** one day

 **davidwymack:** for the love of god can you guys be normal for one day

 **damnwilds:** and here comes the inevitable silencing of our free speech ://

 **andruwu:** it wont let me change my name

 **andruwu:** what the fuck

 **andruwu:** coach what did you do

 **andruwu:** coach

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others for 5 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen I never claimed to have an update schedule. I was mostly just wasting away in my room for a month but I've decided to hit my grind again so I've been drawing and actually doing my schoolwork so now I might as well resume this before my brain stops working again. Anyway enjoy the feast, sexies!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> andruwu: anyway you cant talk you're lactose intolerant
> 
> exyllent: what the fuck he is
> 
> exyllent: neil I see you eating ice cream and drinking milk all the time
> 
> morophobe: yeah
> 
> morophobe: milks supposed to make you taller

**morophobe:** hi everyone I have a question

 **itsyaboyd:** oh god

 **morophobe:** is it illegal to light somebody's things on fire?

 **itsyaboyd:** uh

 **itsyaboyd:** yeah

 **morophobe:** hm

 **morophobe:** is it morally or ethically wrong?

 **itsyaboyd:** most of the time yeah

 **morophobe:** hm

 **morophobe:** okay

 **itsyaboyd:** why

 **itsyaboyd:** neil why

 **andruwu:** wow

 **andruwu:** talking about arson and nobody cared to tell me?

 **hornyrights:** oh okay I see how it is matt

 **hornyrights:** neil can light things on fire but me and andrew cant

 **itsyaboyd:** I literally just told him not to 

 **itsyaboyd:** what's he trying to light on fire

 **hornyrights:** guess we'll find out in like an hour when smoke alarms start going off

 **morophobe:** what makes you think I'm actually lighting stuff on fire?

 **morophobe:** cant a man ask a simple question?

 **andruwu:** neil you cant light anything on fire without me

 **andruwu:** that's not fair arson is like my favorite activity

 **damnwilds:** ugh couple goals

 **damnwilds:** matt let's go do crime

 **itsyaboyd:** but dan being as great as you is already a crime

 **hornyrights:** UGH this shits beautiful

**hornyrights:**

**hornyrights:** valentines day is fast approaching and yall know how fuckin sappy I am.

 **hornyrights:** a bitch may die!

 **andruwu:** I actually prefer the day after valentines day when all the chocolate goes on sale

 **andruwu:** whoever came up with the idea of putting nuts in chocolate doesnt deserve rights

 **thestraightminyard:** cranky because you're the one that got stuck with the peanut allergy aren't you

 **andruwu:** you dont deserve rights either

 **morophobe:** haha fucking nerd

 **morophobe:** get a load of this loser with the peanut allergy

 **andruwu:** I'm close to revoking your rights too neil dont test me

 **andruwu:** anyway you cant talk you're lactose intolerant

 **exyllent:** what the fuck he is

 **exyllent:** neil I see you eating ice cream and drinking milk all the time

 **morophobe:** yeah

 **morophobe:** milks supposed to make you taller

 **thestraightminyard:** ha

 **morophobe:** shut up at least I'm taller than you ugly

 **thestraightminyard:** 3 INCHES NEIL

 **itsyaboyd:** I love being the tallest one here

 **itsyaboyd:** that means I get to make fun of ALL of you

 **thestraightminyard:** didnt you already oppress the short people like a month ago

 **itsyaboyd:** my tall genes just have to flex ://

 **hornyrights:** oh to be tall and ridiculously muscular

 **itsyaboyd:** yeah but also

 **andruwu:** matt dont fucking do it

 **itsyaboyd:** mr andrew Built Like A Fucking Brickhouse minyard over here....

_**andruwu** has left the group_

_**itsyaboyd** has added **andruwu** to the group_

**itsyaboyd:** I'm just saying you should be the one with the suns out guns out shirt not aaron

 **thestraightminyard:** IT WAS ONE TIME

 **hornyrights:** no it wasnt

 **andruwu:** no it wasnt

 **itsyaboyd:** exposed ://

_**thestraightminyard** has left the group_

_**itsyaboyd** has added **thestraightminyard** to the group_

**morophobe:** you all make fun of me for having bad clothes but you guys do too smh

 **morophobe:** like aaron has that one

 **morophobe:** andrew has a fortnite shirt

 **morophobe:** dan and matt have the short that say "I only date country boys" and "yeehaw"

 **morophobe:** kevin has the juicy booty shorts

 **exyllent:** andrew has a what

_**andruwu** has left the group_

_**exyllent** has added **andruwu** to the group_

**andruwu:** slander. I would never.

 **exyllent:** also fuck off neil my shorts are great

 **hornyrights:** say what you want kevin but my cheeks will always clap harder than yours

 **exyllent:** why do you have to say these fucking things

 **hornyrights:** hrrn,, colonel,,,

 **hornyrights:** I'm trying to sneak around,,,

 **exyllent:** no dont

 **hornyrights:** but I'm dummy thicc,,,, and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards,,,,,

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**andruwu** has left the group_

_**thestraightminyard** has left the group_

_**hornyrights** has added **exyllent, andruwu,** and **thestraightminyard** to the group_

**morophobe:** I'm crying what does any of this fucking mean

 **morophobe:** you guys really just love saying whatever piece of shit words pop onto your piece of shit brains huh

 **exyllent:** you say that as if you dont do the exact same fuckin thing the SECOND a camera gets put on your face

 **morophobe:** okay so i shit talked rat bitch and the ravens a few times

 **morophobe:** I've been behaving mostly

 **exyllent:** last week on Neil Isnt Allowed To Do Press Anymore

 **exyllent:** "mr josten, if you'll accept some constructive criticism, I think you should practice your public speaking" "oh? I think you should eat balls richard"

 **morophobe:** he started it

 **andruwu:** are we 5?

 **morophobe:** dont say that as if you didnt sit there laughing for 2 minutes

 **hornyrights:** literally anyone: h-

 **hornyrights:** neil: you know I get it-

 **itsyaboyd:** fucking legend.

 **damnwilds:** absolute icon

 **knifelesbian:** a power move. you did it neil. you stripped the little rat down to his bare essentials.

 **exyllent:** stop we arent supposed to be encouraging this behavior

 **morophobe:** discourage me all you want. you think thats gonna stop me? Just try and hold me back bitch

 **exyllent:** yeah come talk to me when you arent 5 foot 3

 **morophobe:** you can go eat balls too kevin

 **morophobe:** I'm gonna go do a tweeter about that time you got really drunk and started reenacting all of shrek 2

 **morophobe:** that one just roasts itself

 **exyllent:** a tweeter huh

_**morophobe** has left the group_

_**andruwu** has added **morophobe** to the group_

**morophobe:** listen as soon as I get the hang on social media it's over for you bitches

 **hornyrights:** it's okay you'll get there someday

 **morophobe:** I'm sort of getting the hang of it but it's still pretty hit or miss

 **hornyrights:** I HUESS TBEHY NEVE R MISS HUH

 **morophobe:** what

 **bibiceps:** YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND I BET HE DOESNT KISS YA

 **knifelesbian:** mwah

 **damnwilds:** HE GON FIND ANOTHER GIRL AND HE WONT MISS YA

 **morophobe:** what the fuck is happening

 **hornyrights:** good teamwork gang

 **davidwymack:** I am literally begging you guys to be normal for one day

 **andruwu:** coach before you mute us let me change my name it's awful

 **davidwymack:** no

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wymack: then perish  
> Honestly my mind is so fucking powerful. Also a couple weeks ago we got our first hate comment so I guess you could say I've officially made it in the fanfic biz.  
> Kudos/comments are appreciated I love hearing feedback from everyone  
> Bother me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hornyrights: kevin get in here we need to oppress you
> 
> exyllent: fuck off
> 
> exyllent: just you fucking wait until I finally fucking snap
> 
> hornyrights: kevin pulling out the infinity gauntlet that he bought on walmart.com for $82.99

**morophobe:** Sasuke shoved his hands into Naruto's pants and grinned when the blond whimpered from his touch. "Already, Naruto?" he asked.

 **morophobe:** wrong chat

 **morophobe:** how yall doing

 **hornyrights:** IM FUCKJG F GKFJFJXHDHX

 **hornyrights:** NEIL WHO WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO GO TO

 **morophobe:** oh you know

 **hornyrights:** NEIL WERE YOU DOJNG A FUCKING NARUTO X SASUKE RP

 **hornyrights:** WITHOUT ME

 **morophobe:** none ya damn business

 **morophobe:** and no I wasnt

 **morophobe:** you dont know me

_**morophobe** has left the group_

**hornyrights:** when I say I'm about to shit myself from laughter

_**hornyrights** has added **morophobe** to the group_

**bibiceps:** honestly I didnt know you had it in you neil

 **bibiceps:** truly an author

 **thestraightminyard:** can I live one day in piece without having to put up with everyones anime nerd bullshit

 **hornyrights:** we have to put up with your straightness all the time and you dont see us complaining

 **thestraightminyard:** ??

 **thestraightminyard:** yeah you literally do??

 **thestraightminyard:** all the time??

 **bibiceps:** shut up hettie

 **thestraightminyard:** oppression :pensive:

 **andruwu:** this chat was a mistake

_**andruwu** has left the group_

**hornyrights:** damn we havent even done much yet

_**hornyrights** has added **andruwu** to the group_

**hornyrights:** anyway.

 **hornyrights:** we say white people dont have their own culture but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog and there's no way they appropriated that from someone else

 **itsyaboyd:** you know someone who has a dog and didnt tell me

 **itsyaboyd:** I love dogs they're so fucking good they're all good boys

 **bibiceps:** everyone favorite type of dog go

 **bibiceps:** beagle

 **itsyaboyd:** mastiff

 **hornyrights:** samoyed

 **knifelesbian:** schnauzer

 **damnwilds:** golden retriever

 **hornyrights:** neil? andrew? your opinions

 **exyllent:** no one cares for my opinion huh

 **bibiceps:** no not really

 **bibiceps:** you'll probably make it into exy somehow so

 **hornyrights:** I think neil and andrew died rip

 **itsyaboyd:** rip F

 **damnwilds:** :pensive:

 **morophobe:** sorry I was busy what did u need me for

 **hornyrights:** favorite dog breed

 **morophobe:** oh

 **morophobe:** I'm more of a cat person

 **bibiceps:** what

 **hornyrights:** neil what

 **damnwilds:** you cant just drop something like that on us and leave

 **hornyrights:** oh well

 **hornyrights:** guess hes off being "busy" with his "not" naruto rp

 **itsyaboyd:** I dont watch naruto I just know that hes a funky little man and I love him

 **damnwilds:** who's that fool who looks like a mii character

 **damnwilds:** the one with the ankle weight scene

 **hornyrights:** rock lee?

 **damnwilds:** yeah him I love that little clown

 **damnwilds:** I dont know anything else about naruto sorry

 **thestraightminyard:** anime watchers need to be oppressed

 **hornyrights:** aaron you watch anime

 **thestraightminyard:** okay you know what

 **thestraightminyard:** yes, I watch anime. yes, I hate people who watch anime. We. Exist. Nicky.

 **bibiceps:** we need to oppress you even more just for you saying that

 **thestraightminyard:** you cant oppress me for watching anime if I already oppress myself

 **bibiceps:** aaron you've been demoted to my least favorite twin

 **andruwu:** Naruto tugged on Sasuke's black hair and looked him in the eyes as he said, "Need me to take care of that?" He let his other hand trail slowly down Sasuke's chest towards his waistband.

 **andruwu:** oh

_**andruwu** has left the group_

**bibiceps:** aaron I changed my mind you're back on top

_**hornyrights** has added **andruwu** to the group_

**hornyrights:** ANDREW

 **andruwu:** no

 **hornyrights:** ANDREW

_**andruwu** has left the group_

**hornyrights:** NEIL

_**morophobe** has left the group_

_**hornyrights** has added **andruwu** and **morophobe** to the group_

**hornyrights:** HORNY MOTHERFUCKING RIGHTS

 **bibiceps:** GJFHDHEJXJDHXHE

 **bibiceps:** YOU BOTH

 **bibiceps:** YOU BOTH FUCKJNGKGGJFJ

 **morophobe:** allison I'll leak your jort pics

 **bibiceps:** hm. new topic

 **bibiceps:** renee had an Experience today

 **knifelesbian:** life changing might I add

 **knifelesbian:** not in a good way

 **hornyrights:** spill

 **knifelesbian:** well long story short some greasy boy told me I would make a hot mom and then immediately asked me out

 **knifelesbian:**  and that statement hit me like a train I'll tell you that

 **knifelesbian:** thought he was just gonna compliment my hair or smth but no

 **itsyaboyd:** a

 **itsyaboyd:** a hot mom

 **knifelesbian:** yeah

 **knifelesbian:** how to not flirt with a girl: do that

 **bibiceps:** I'm literally still laughing about that

 **bibiceps:** as if you dont literally have a whole girlfriend already AND have the lesbian flag in your hair??

 **bibiceps:** I have to laugh

 **damnwilds:** man the hetties out here wildin huh

 **hornyrights:** what did you do tho :eyes:

 **andruwu:** me and neil know how to clean up a crime scene just saying

 **knifelesbian:** oh no murder

 **knifelesbian:** unfortunately

 **knifelesbian:** just some excruciatingly harsh words and a slap

 **andruwu:** oh

 **andruwu:** you shouldve killed him incels gotta die

 **hornyrights:** incel oppression begins now

 **hornyrights:** kevin get in here we need to oppress you

 **exyllent:** fuck off

 **exyllent:** just you fucking wait until I finally fucking snap

 **hornyrights:** kevin pulling out the infinity gauntlet that he bought on walmart.com for $82.99

 **morophobe:** the fuck is an infinity gauntlet

 **hornyrights:** w

 **hornyrights:** hello??

 **hornyrights:** avengers?? Infinity war?? Big ass purple guy with glove??

 **morophobe:** oh yeah that movie

 **morophobe:** it's kinda bullshit if you think about it

 **morophobe:** like if half the plants and animals died too then what was the fucking point everything is the same

 **morophobe:** why didnt he just double the resources instead

 **morophobe:** I hate that movie

 **bibiceps:** you hate every movie neil

 **morophobe:** because they're all bullshit

 **itsyaboyd:** oh god hes on his movie rants again nobody mention fantastic beasts 2 or hes gonna go apeshit

 **itsyaboyd:** wait fuck

 **morophobe:** oooooooooooh my god that fucking movie 

 **thestraightminyard:** we all know you hate it neil we dont need to do this again

 **davidwymack:** christ

 **davidwymack:** nope.

 **damnwilds:** :pensive:

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others for 3 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it was canon somewhere that neil doesnt like movies?? I'd like to think its bc he just cant fucking stand all the plot holes and other bullshit that happens all the time fjxjxjdjx also me self projecting again and putting my real life experiences on renee  
> Anyway kudos/comments are appreciated, I love the feedback and seeing yalls favorite parts  
> Follow me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes or on my main @pissaphobic


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bibiceps: ahaha bitch kevin returns
> 
> exyllent: someday I'm gonna get my revenge and you'll all be sorry
> 
> andruwu: aaaaw is widdle kevin angwy
> 
> andruwu: what are you gonna do make us all drink your kale smoothies until we die from gross

**morophobe:** something is wrong

 **hornyrights:** neil its 1am what 

 **knifelesbian:** sorry I was in distress for a second

 **knifelesbian:** I almost lost one of my elite four battles :(

 **hornyrights:** w

 **hornyrights:** did neil just

 **hornyrights:** nevermind

 **morophobe:** oh also

 **morophobe:** christians if u die and anubis is waiting for you instead of jesus what would you say

 **hornyrights:** sick fursuit jeezy boy

 **morophobe:** thanks for your input I regret asking!

 **hornyrights:** anytime!

 **thestraightminyard:** one day

 **thestraightminyard:** can we go one day without bullshit

 **hornyrights:** cranky bc I'm funnier than you arent you

 **thestraightminyard:** my life has never known peace since I've met you

 **hornyrights:** :3c

 **thestraightminyard:** dont you fucking :3c at me

 **hornyrights:** oh what are you gonna do, Five Feet Tall

 **hornyrights:** height is a choice

 **thestraightminyard:** fuck you

 **andruwu:** fuck you

 **morophobe:** fuck you

 **exyllent:** yeah height is a choice

 **thestraightminyard:** hey fuck you too

 **andruwu:** literally fuck off kevin

 **morophobe:** kevin you're no longer allowed to speak to me

 **morophobe:** can we get a kevin replacement

 **morophobe:** like preferably someone who's funnier than him

 **morophobe:** I'm sick of kevins shit

 **bibiceps:** ooooh do u wanna see him get nervous and flustered

 **exyllent:** allison dont do it

_**bibiceps** has added **[knoxyouout]** to the group_

**[knoxyouout]:** haha sick

 **[knoxyouout]:** what is this

 **morophobe:** thank you allison

 **morophobe:** he IS funnier than kevin

 **morophobe:** this is the fox gc btw I got sick of kev and requested someone better

 **[knoxyouout]:** oh epic

 **[knoxyouout]:** whys andrews name andruwu who's possessing him

 **andruwu:** nicky's a sack of fucking nuts and wymack turned off name changing privileges due to nicky being a sack of nuts

 **hornyrights:** you're just a hornyphobe

 **[knoxyouout]:** horny rights!

 **hornyrights:** thanks jeremy

 **[knoxyouout]:** holy shit

 **[knoxyouout]:** I just realized

 **[knoxyouout]:** neil and renee are here right

 **knifelesbian:** trans rights!

 **morophobe:** trans rights!

 **[knoxyouout]:** trans rights!

 **exyllent:** neil I know you said I cant talk to you anymore but I dont care what you think so I'm ignoring that to tell you that you suck and that I am funny actually

 **morophobe:** kevin dont lie to yourself to impress your crush

 **[knoxyouout]:** haha kevins got a crush? who is it

 **exyllent:** a crush neil really? Are we in middle school now

 **morophobe:** sorry I cant hear you over the sound of you're not allowed to talk to me

 **bibiceps:** ah and tension is rising again between two of our most skilled members

 **[knoxyouout]:** members? Sounds spicy. Like this is a cult or smth i like it

 **bibiceps:** with kevin and neil around it basically IS an exy cult

 **andruwu:** those fuckers cannot go a single hour without talking about it I'm absolutely gonna lose my mind

 **morophobe:** babe please you put the exy in sexy

 **andruwu:** I'm breaking up with you immediately

 **morophobe:** fine but im taking your clothes with me

 **hornyrights:** god to be young and in love

 **hornyrights:** I love gay people so much its unreal

 **[knoxyouout]:** nicky you are also young and in love and gay

 **hornyrights:** god yeah and its great

 **hornyrights:** imagine being a cishet. I have to laugh. Its 2019 grow up

 **hornyrights:** aaron I'm ringing a shame bell above your head

 **thestraightminyard:** why is it always me and kevin go pick on someone else

 **bibiceps:** we pick on neil too

 **thestraightminyard:** yeah but who gives a fuck abt him

 **hornyrights:** I do :(

 **bibiceps:** I do

 **knifelesbian:** I do

 **itsyaboyd:** I do

 **damnwilds:** I do

 **[knoxyouout]:** I do

 **andruwu:** I regrettably do

 **morophobe:** damn get fucked aaron

 **andruwu:** hes still just mad you burned his favorite hoodie

 **morophobe:** when are we gonna stop bringing that up

 **[knoxyouout]:** your fave neil josten commits arson!

 **thestraightminyard:** I'm gonna get revenge

 **thestraightminyard:** be careful not to leave your crocs unattended just saying

 **morophobe:** no not my crocs!!

 **andruwu:** aaron PLEASE burn his crocs

 **[knoxyouout]:** neil you know I love you and that you're epic n swaggy but I might have to unfriend you for this

_**morophobe** has left the group_

**[knoxyouout]:** oh no :(

 **bibiceps:** dont worry he does that all the time bc hes a drama queen

_**bibiceps** has added **morophobe** to the group_

**morophobe:** oh you're gonna call ME dramatic but you've met kevin and andrew before

 **exyllent:** shut up neil you literally dumped my kale smoothie on me when I tried getting you to drink some

 **[knoxyouout]:** kevin you drink kale smoothies

 **exyllent:** I mean they have like good nutritional value you and stuff haha they arent the best tho

 **[knoxyouout]:** i love kale stuff [sunglasses emoji]

 **exyllent:** oh yeah I love kale it's so good :)

 **bibiceps:** I refuse to talk about kale

 **bibiceps:** nicky new topic time

 **hornyrights:** so fortnite

 **bibiceps:** no

 **exyllent:** no

 **bibiceps:** neil new topic time

 **bibiceps:** no you cant talk about exy thats nit what this gc is for 

 **morophobe:** I dont know

 **morophobe:** why dont we make fun of kevin thats always fun

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**morophobe** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**bibiceps:** ahaha bitch kevin returns

 **exyllent:** someday I'm gonna get my revenge and you'll all be sorry

 **andruwu:** aaaaw is widdle kevin angwy

 **andruwu:** what are you gonna do make us all drink your kale smoothies until we die from gross

 **[knoxyouout]:** damn this really is the Roast Kevin Groupchat :pensive:

 **[knoxyouout]:** I thought he was over exaggerating and being a drama queen again

 **bibiceps:** oh we make fun of andrew and neil and aaron too

 **bibiceps:** they used to be the monsters but now they're OUR little monsters and all of them are so tiny n cute when they're mad

 **bibiceps:** like feral little beasts its great

 **andruwu:** allison did you just call me "tiny n cute"

 **morophobe:** its bc u are

 **andruwu:** neil you are THREE inches taller than me THREE

 **[knoxyouout]:** so this is what the headlines mean by minyard-josten rivalry huh

 **[knowyouout]:** I get it now nicky 

 **[knoxyouout]:** god to be young, gay, and in love

 **[knoxyouout]:** so how are yall on this very late night ps pls go to sleep 

 **bibiceps:** feeling incredibly sexy today jeremy but that's bc I am and I always feel like this

 **[knoxyouout]:** ugh self love I love that for you

 **hornyrights:** allison and me have always been the hottest ones here tbh but jeremys here now and hes the only other one allowed to join the clique sorry 

 **bibiceps:** sexy rights

 **[knoxyouout]:** sexy rights!

 **hornyrights:** sexy rights!

 **[knoxyouout]:** I'm californian of course I'm sexy

 **exyllent:** yeah

 **exyllent:** I mean like. uh yeah that makes sense. california good.

 **[knoxyouout]:** west coast best coast you clowns!

 **hornyrights:** :pensive: damn jeremy tell us how you really feel

 **[knoxyouout]:** okay you guys are the only valid east coasters ily guys smoochie smoochie

 **[knoxyouout]:** we have to play a game again sometime that shit was so epic n swaggy

 **[knoxyouout]:** east coast beast cost I guess bc u guys fuckin powered through

 **hornyrights:** hell yeah you know we hit that grind

 **thestraightminyard:** nicky I swear if you do the student athlete meme

 **hornyrights:** you would be alot scarier if you were andrew but unfortunately for you, you arent so

 **hornyrights:** you honestly believe your heterosexual strength can beat my gayns? You're a fool

 **itsyaboyd:** oh and dont forget that andrews the beefcake between the two of you

_**andruwu** has left the group_

_**itsyaboyd** has added **andruwu** to the group_

**andruwu:** everytime you guys make me read the word beefcake it takes 8 weeks off my life

 **andruwu:** I hate yall

 **andruwu:** and before you fucking say it matt no I would not prefer quadzilla

 **itsyaboyd:** okay well would you prefer quadzilla

 **itsyaboyd:** DAMN IT he got there quicker

 **davidwymack:** hello what the fuck is jeremy doing here

 **[knoxyouout]:** haha holy shit hey mr kevins dad sir how are you

 **davidwymack:** allison this is a fox chat and its SUPPOSED to be used for exy

 **bibiceps:** yeah and

 **davidwymack:** so fucking why is jeremy here

 **bibiceps:** you literally are no fun at all

 **bibiceps:** okay bye jeremy ily smoochie tell jean thay renee says hi

_**bibiceps** has removed **[knoxyouout]** from the group_

**damnwilds:** damn rip kevin 

 **bibiceps:** when you get cock blocked by your own dad

 **hornyrights:** WHEN U

 **hornyrights:** WHEN U GET KNOX BLOCKED

 **davidwymack:** all of you are adults and yet I constantly feel as if I got burdened with 9 asshole little middle schoolers to watch

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 7 others for 6 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back on my bullshit! I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter they're all such goofy dorks I love them  
> Kudos/comments are appreciated I really really love readin all the comments and seein what yall love it brings me immense joy  
> Follow me on tumblr @pussypoppinpalmettofoxes!! Or my main @vapegodreigen for anime :pensive:


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> morophobe: oh so kevins allowed to say hes fine but I'm not
> 
> andruwu: kevin doesn't say hes fine after getting punched several times
> 
> morophobe: can I punch him several times to find out
> 
> notjeremy: you're just a feral little beast arent you

**hornyrights:** sigh

 **hornyrights:** when will a cute cowboy come wrangle me

 **itsyaboyd:** we live in the south nicky just go to a bar and find one

 **hornyrights:** I tried getting erik to be a cowboy for halloween but hes a weenie

 **hornyrights:** OH MY GOD

 **hornyrights:** maybe IM the cute cowboy and eriks the one who needs to be wrangled

 **damnwilds:** haha yeah I know a thing or two about wrangling ur man

 **hornyrights:** dan I'm mentally high fiving you rn

 **damnwilds:** yeah I feel it and I appreciate it thank you

 **hornyrights:** anyway tag urselves are u the cowboy or the wranglee

 **itsyaboyd:** wranglee

 **knifelesbian:** hm cowboys are funky I think I am a cowboy :3

 **bibiceps:** yeah you sure wrangled my heart :33

 **hornyrights:** ugh yall cute

 **hornyrights:** andrew? neil?

 **hornyrights:** I know u guys are online u cant ignore this

 **exyllent:** they arent ignoring you they're fighting over who gets to be the cowboy

 **andruwu:** we are not

 **exyllent:** andrew I just heard you say "neil you're not a fucking cowboy you've never even said yeehaw"

_**andruwu** has left the group_

_**morophobe** has added **andruwu** to the group_

**morophobe:** I dont have to say yeehaw to be a cowboy andy what if I just love the old western aesthetic 

 **andruwu:** yeah come say that to me when you dont wear crocs and bad floral shirts

 **morophobe:** okay listen

 **hornyrights:** :flushed: wow is this something we should be witnessing

 **bibiceps:** theyll get there nicky

 **andruwu:** neil I literally had to wrangle you?? Like literally I had to fucking wrangle you last year bc you had a fucking death wish????

 **andruwu:** does this ring any bells neil

 **andruwu:** you know how you punched Rat Bastard in the face and torched the shit out of him on live tv??

 **andruwu:** and how you told that reporter to eat balls

 **exyllent:** dont forget abt that time he threw a meatball at that one player he didnt like at the banquet

 **bibiceps:** or when he told that other reporter to go find a circus if he wanted to be such a clown

 **hornyrights:** or when he threw his sweaty sock at me in the locker room bc I wouldnt stop fortnite dancing

 **itsyaboyd:** We Are All Have To Wrangle Neil

 **morophobe:** okay you guys are exaggerating

 **andruwu:** neil

 **morophobe:** fine you can be the fucking cowboy but u have to say yeehaw first

 **andruwu:** yee fucking haw

 **hornyrights:** ugh. love.

 **exyllent:** okay fr tho neil like you Will Get Beat Up someday if you dont settle down

 **morophobe:** someones a party pooper

 **morophobe:** god I miss jeremy can we add him back

 **exyllent:** yeah can we

 **exyllent:** actually no wait I'll embarrass myself and get nervous

 **bibiceps:** yeah that bit where you couldnt make up your mind about kale was absolute class

 **exyllent:** shut up allison I didnt know if he liked it or not

 **bibiceps:** hes californian kevin of course he fucking likes it

 **exyllent:** shut up

 **exyllent:** do not add him here again just to bully me and make me look bad allison

 **morophobe:** trans rights allison add jeremy

_**bibiceps** has added **[knoxyouout]** to the group_

**[knoxyouout]:** oh epic

 **[knoxyouout]:** wait didnt I get kicked out

 **bibiceps:** jeremy change your name to see if we can hide you from wymack

_**[knoxyouout]** has changed their name to **notjeremy**_

**bibiceps:** that works

 **exyllent:** allison this is a bad idea coach will make you do a marathon or smth

 **notjeremy:** oh hey kevin

 **exyllent:** haha hey jeremy hope things are uh epic and swaggy

 **morophobe:** sorry kevins just having a stroke

 **notjeremy:** oh it be like that sometimes

 **exyllent:** no I'm fine I'm all good

 **morophobe:** oh so kevins allowed to say hes fine but I'm not

 **andruwu:** kevin doesn't say hes fine after getting punched several times

 **morophobe:** can I punch him several times to find out

 **notjeremy:** you're just a feral little beast arent you

 **notjeremy:** love that for you ur doin great

 **damnwilds:** dont encourage him jeremy

 **notjeremy:** just trying to be a supportive friend

 **bibiceps:** we know this and we love you

 **itsyaboyd:** jer how are you simultaneously the mom friend but also babey

 **notjeremy:** oh you know

 **notjeremy:** anyway hows exy cult

 **andruwu:** if you guys talk about exy I'll gut you

 **morophobe:** okay but that's LITERALLY what this gc was made for andy

 **andruwu:** did anyone plan on following wymacks directions?? Anyone at all???

 **damnwilds:** no

 **bibiceps:** no

 **hornyrights:** hell no

 **exyllent:** smh I did since apparently the only competent player on the team

 **andruwu:** you dont count kev hes your dad and you're also the only one here responsible enough to follow rules

 **notjeremy:** wow yall are so edgy :flushed:

 **damnwilds:** yall the ones who changed your lineup last minute knowing full well youd lose Just To Test Your Strength

 **notjeremy:** I mean dont knock it til you try it

 **exyllent:** don't

 **exyllent:** don't knox it til you've tried it

 **notjeremy:** HAHA NICE

 **andruwu:** unfortunately I gotta kill you now kev

 **notjeremy:** damn rip legend we'll miss you

 **morophobe:** no we wont

 **hornyrights:** [neil voice] then perish

 **morophobe:** what does

 **morophobe:** what

 **morophobe:** oh it's a meme isnt it

 **morophobe:** one of these days....

 **hornyrights:** anyway the gayngs all here how about all nine of us go opress aaron

 **notjeremy:** oh fun I love that

 **notjeremy:** come here you little rat I want to be mean to you except not really bc that would make me feel bad

 **thestraightminyard:** ah youd be the only one then

 **notjeremy:** it's only bc I'm too nice of a person

 **notjeremy:** and also I'm best friends with your brothers boyfriend I'm a huge fan of his work

 **morophobe:** thanks jeremy 

 **andruwu:** ah youd be the only one then

 **andruwu:** keeping him away from the press is a burden we all must share

 **morophobe:** I tell a reporter to eat balls ONE time

 **notjeremy:** like I was saying, HUGE fan of your work king you're killing it

 **notjeremy:** I could never but sometimes Reporters Deserve It Actually

 **exyllent:** you think his potty mouth goes only to reporters

 **morophobe:** okay so I call kevin a bitch ONE time

 **exyllent:** literally I will kill you neil

 **exyllent:** why do you insist on making me miserable I have an image to uphold

 **andruwu:** aw, kevin and his little crushy wushy

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**bibiceps** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**bibiceps:** smh

 **notjeremy:** yall leave a lot

 **notjeremy:** glad you always come back that's swaggy 

 **notjeremy:** huge fan of your work tho too kev switching to your left hand in that ravens game was a power move stay epic

 **exyllent:** oh

 **exyllent:** uh

 **exyllent:** haha

 **exyllent:** thanks

 **exyllent:** haha

 **exyllent:** haha

 **exyllent:** wow

 **exyllent:** uh

 **exyllent:** thank you

 **exyllent:** wow

 **exyllent:** haha

 **morophobe:** sorry hes having a stroke again

 **andruwu:** hes not used to people being nice to him since all of us are bullies

 **bibiceps:** haha nice save andrew

 **davidwymack:** christ

 **notjeremy:** holy shit hello coach sir haha huge fan of ur team and ur players and ur son sir haha holy shit how are you

 **davidwymack:** jeremy I believe I kicked you out of here once before so why are you here

 **notjeremy:** oh I'm not jeremy sir

 **notjeremy:** I'm uuuuuuuuuh

 **davidwymack:** I dont actually care

_**davidwymack** has removed **notjeremy** from the group_

**bibiceps:** god coach 

 **bibiceps:** we were TRYING to get your son laid

 **exyllent:** allison oh my god

 **hornyrights:** smh coach you always ruin our fun

 **davidwymack:** christ

 **davidwymack:** why do I even fucking try with you buffoons anymore

 **davidwymack:** not like you fucking cretins ever listen to me anyway

 **davidwymack:** you know what fine add whoever the fuck you want I dont even give a fuck you never use this for what it was meant for anyway

 **bibiceps:** yay thanks coach

 **davidwymack:** oh and kevin?

 **exyllent:** yeah

 **davidwymack:** please try and get ass somewhere else :)

 **davidwymack:** preferably somewhere I dont have to see :)

_**bibiceps** has added **notjeremy** to the group_

**notjeremy:** oh wow already

 **davidwymack:** yeah no

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 8 others for 4 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy is back by popular request and hes also staying bc hes really fucking fun to write.  
> Kudos/comments are appreciated I love hearing feedback and also I'm a narcissist that loves compliments!  
> Follow me on tumblr @transneiljosten or on my main @vapegodreigen but please for the love of god read my about before you do


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hornyrights: all of us are gay none of us can count  
> hornyrights: except for neil hes a math major  
> hornyrights: the little prick  
> notjeremy: honestly like what even is a number I dont know her  
> exyllent: I haven't even thought about a single number in a year and honestly that's pretty sexy of me  
> notjeremy: it is

**itsyaboyd:** okay holy shit???

 **itsyaboyd:** did yall know that neil is like. insanely fucking good at minecraft??

 **itsyaboyd:** we love an architect

 **itsyaboyd:** also the ungodly amounts of diamond hes found

 **itsyaboyd:** he figured out redstone mechanics too???

 **itsyaboyd:** actual legend

 **hornyrights:** neil plays minecraft?

 **hornyrights:** and you decided not to yell me that neil

 **andruwu:** god he plays it at like fucking 4am when he cant sleep except the light keeps ME up too 

 **andruwu:** awful

 **morophobe:** idk matt I just didnt want an ugly dirt house

 **itsyaboyd:** your house is lovely. very cottagecore. love the wood and the gravel path and the pond and the garden and the all of it

 **hornyrights:** okay love that

 **hornyrights:** but I wouldntve thought neil to be a cottage man

 **hornyrights:** like tbh tho.... growing old with your significant other in a small little cottage in the woods.... that's like goals..

 **itsyaboyd:** yeah

 **bibiceps:** yeah

 **notjeremy:** yeah

 **damnwilds:** yeah

 **knifelesbian:** yeah

 **exyllent:** yeah

 **hornyrights:** glad we are all in agreement

 **hornyrights:** anyway you know how wymack basically gave us permission to go like hog fucking wild and add whoever we want

 **hornyrights:** who do we add

 **notjeremy:** OH

 **notjeremy:** OH I HAVE AN IDEA

 **notjeremy:** hold on you'll love them

_**notjeremy** has added **whatifwekissed** and **(andwearebothgirls)** to the group_

**knifelesbian:** okay let's fricking GO lesbians

 **whatifwekissed:** lesbian rights!

 **(andwearebothgirls):** lesbian rights!

 **morophobe:** lesbian rights

 **knifelesbian:** thank you neil

 **knifelesbian:** laila, sara, how have u funky lesbians been

 **whatifwekissed:** sara keeps touching me with their cold fuckinf feet every night

 **(andwearebothgirls):** I dont like socks in bed ://

 **whatifwekissed:** valid and I love you but one day I will get you back

 **thestraightminyard:** okay this is sweet and everything I guess but literally everyone else here gets to have their SO here so can I bring katelyn in

 **bibiceps:** didnt she leave last time after calling kevin a bitch

 **bibiceps:** bi rights I guess add her

_**thestraightminyard** has added **fuckbitchesgetmoney** to the group_

**fuckbitchesgetmoney:** oh not this again

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** hey neil

 **morophobe:** hello katelyn

 **morophobe:** hows the evil twin treating you

 **andruwu:** implying I am not the evil twin?

 **hornyrights:** you're not the evil twin

 **hornyrights:** I mean aarons the cishet

 **hornyrights:** also I saw you with your head in neils lap yesterday so

 **whatifwekissed:** wow ok so maybe some men do deserve rights

 **whatifwekissed:** only the ones in this group

 **whatifwekissed:** aaron you're on thin ice

 **thestraightminyard:** okay great more people in here to bully me

 **thestraightminyard:** at least I have one single person on my side now

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** oh really who is it

_**thestraightminyard** has left the group_

_**fuckbitchesgetmoney** has added **thestraightminyard** to the group_

**fuckbitchesgetmoney:** I'm kidding baby I love you

 **bibiceps:** I think this is really great bc now kevin is like the only single person here and honestly that's funny

 **bibiceps:** except for like jeremy

 **exyllent:** allison we just got new people do you have to bully me already

 **exyllent:** I have an image to uphold

 **(andwearebothgirls):** no you dont we've met you before

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** yeah the fans idolize you bc theyve never heard you speak before

 **exyllent:** literally I hate all of you

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**bibiceps** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**bibiceps:** quick new folks call him a bitch

 **whatifwekissed:** haha bitch

 **(andwearebothgirls):** bitch

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** bitch

 **notjeremy:** I legally cant call people that it's against the law I'll go to jail

 **whatifwekissed:** me and sara made the law

 **(andwearebothgirls):** yeah like fuck police dude but by Lesbian Law jeremy is not allowed to say fuck or bitch

 **knifelesbian:** its true I'm a lesbian I know lesbian law

 **damnwilds:** can you guys hold neil to lesbian law too

 **damnwilds:** I dont know who taught him fuck but hes baby

 **morophobe:** I'm 20

 **damnwilds:** sorry that's baby

 **itsyaboyd:** I agree with dan that's baby

 **hornyrights:** [pointing at neil] that's baby!

 **morophobe:** okay I get it I'm the youngest one here

 **bibiceps:** yeah legally that's baby

 **morophobe:** andrew and aaron are not allowed to call me baby since they're shorter than me

 **morophobe:** well actually andrew can but that's for gay reasons 

 **andruwu:** you're THREE inches taller than me neil

 **morophobe:** sorry I cant hear what you're saying all the way down there

 **whatifwekissed:** :pensive: it's okay andrew, sara is like half an inch taller than me and they never shut up about it 

 **(andwearebothgirls):** actually it's like three quarters of an inch

 **whatifwekissed:** babe you know I love you but I will not hesitate to draw dicks on your back next to you ask me to help with sunscreen

 **(andwearebothgirls):** wow suddenly I cant count

 **hornyrights:** all of us are gay none of us can count

 **hornyrights:** except for neil hes a math major

 **hornyrights:** the little prick

 **notjeremy:** honestly like what even is a number I dont know her

 **exyllent:** I haven't even thought about a single number in a year and honestly that's pretty sexy of me

 **notjeremy:** it is

 **morophobe:** andrew what if we kissed inside a ((x^2)+(y^2)-1)^3=(x^2)(y^3)

 **hornyrights:** neil what the fuck does that even say

 **morophobe:** oh you know

 **whatifwekissed:** wow imagine knowing things :flushed:

 **(andwearebothgirls):** things I know: girls hot, exy fun, mined craft

 **bibiceps:** sara your mind...

 **exyllent:** I know exy and lame history facts and that's it

 **notjeremy:** oh? tell me something funky about history

 **exyllent:** oh haha

 **exyllent:** well

 **exyllent:** uh

 **exyllent:** victorian people used to say prunes instead of cheese when getting their pictures taken

 **exyllent:** and uuuuh alexander the great was afraid of beards

 **exyllent:** oh and pope gregory IX caused the plague

 **notjeremy:** okay wow you legend

 **notjeremy:** your brain is so huge how do you do that

 **exyllent:** haha

 **exyllent:** uh

 **exyllent:** thanks

 **exyllent:** haha 

 **exyllent:** wow haha 

 **davidwymack:** jesus christ

 **davidwymack:** pull yourself together kevin holy shit you're worse than andrew 

 **damnwilds:** uh oh sisters we're about to get muted!

 **davidwymack:** so now we have 3 trojans and a cheerleader in here

 **bibiceps:** wow coach just say you hate gay people and mute us :pensive: 

 **davidwymack:** do you buffoons all collectively decide to wake up and become shit shit the clown

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 11 others for 4 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello back by popular demand is katelyn and introduced after bullying by my friends is laila and alvarez. In case it was hard to follow laila is whatifwekissed and alvarez is andwearebothgirls.  
> Hehe kudos/comments are appreciated I love feedback and I love reading every comment like 5 times  
> Follow me on tumblr @transneiljosten or on my anime main @vapegodreigen


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trojean: oh no  
> trojean: hello  
> morophobe: bone jaw  
> trojean: excuse me  
> morophobe: bone jaw

**hornyrights:** oh god

 **hornyrights:** oh no

 **hornyrights:** oh fuck

**itsyaboyd:????**

**hornyrights:** I fucking

 **hornyrights:** I've forgotten about stardew valley for like 3 months and I've left my husband and kids all alone

 **hornyrights:** shane.... baby.... I'm so sorry.....

 **itsyaboyd:** oh no,,,,

 **itsyaboyd:** also why did you just remember this now

 **hornyrights:** andrew and neil were arguing over which one of them gets to marry sebastian

 **notjeremy:** emos attract emos I guess

 **andruwu:** I'm not emo

 **morophobe:** andrew you wear black arm bands with knives in them

 **morophobe:** and aaron showed me your highschool pictures

 **andruwu:** hm actually I hate both of you now

 **morophobe:** cant hide from the truth andy 😔 

 **hornyrights:** oh hey speaking of emo

 **hornyrights:** let's add jean

 **hornyrights:** I'm in a mood to make wymack annoyed today

 **exyllent:** when are you not

 **morophobe:** oh do it I have something to tell him

_**notjeremy** has added **trojean** to the group_

**trojean:** oh no

 **trojean:** hello

 **morophobe:** bone jaw

 **trojean:** excuse me

 **morophobe:** bone jaw

 **morophobe:** are you stupid

 **trojean:** what are you fucking talking about

 **morophobe:** bone jaw. 

 **morophobe:** its french for hello, idiot

 **exyllent:** w

 **exyllent:** neil

 **exyllent:** it's not

 **exyllent:** you know it's not

 **exyllent:** neil wait please actually say sike you know it's not right like you speak fluent french you arent being serious are you

_**trojean** had left the group_

**exyllent:** see you scared him away you little bastard

 **morophobe:** lmao

_**notjeremy** has added **trojean** to the group_

**trojean:** dont do this to me jeremy

 **exyllent:** you get used to it

 **exyllent:** you wont be able to leave believe me I've tried

 **hornyrights:** kevin andrew and neil be like [leaves the gc for no reason]

 **andruwu:** you're a little cretin you know that

 **hornyrights:** what are you gonna do leave again? You know I'll bring you right back in

 **notjeremy:** it doesnt seem like you've been leaving as often tho??

 **andruwu:** me and neil have just surrendered at this point idk abt kev

 **exyllent:** oh me haha I just thought I'd stay for uuuuuuh all the new people you know haha like theres cooler people in here now so

 **trojean:** you must be mistaken. everyone here is absolute garbage 

 **trojean:** except for renee laila and sara

 **trojean:** lesbian rights

 **knifelesbian:** thanks jean love you king

 **knifelesbian:** where are laila and sara btw??

 **trojean:** oh they're makin out somewhere

 **trojean:** honestly good for them

 **(andwearebothgirls):** oh hey we're here now

 **(andwearebothgirls):** btw thanks jean

 **whatifwekissed:** when u get cornered by a jock so you send one last message to your minecraft gf and their phone buzzes 😳😳

 **(andwearebothgirls):** it's me I'm the jock

 **(andwearebothgirls):** anyway brb we have important things to do

 **morophobe:** legends

 **trojean:** why am I here

 **hornyrights:** to make wymack mad mostly but also bc you're our friend

 **trojean:** unfortunately.

 **trojean:** oh hey wait is bitch kevin still a thing

 **exyllent:** NO

 **bibiceps:** absolutely

 **bibiceps:** this is a Bully Kevin At All Hours Zone

 **exyllent:** fucking hate yall

 **exyllent:** except for like. jeremy and renee

 **knifelesbian:** :^)

 **notjeremy:** wow I'm honored????

 **exyllent:** haha wow

 **exyllent:** you are??

 **exyllent:** wow haha

 **trojean:** anyway.

 **trojean:** bitch

 **exyllent:** you're the worst

 **bibiceps:** haha bitch

 **exyllent:** I havent even done anything today to deserve this you shit heads

 **bibiceps:** you're breathing arent you

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**bibiceps** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**bibiceps:** hahah. bitch.

 **bibiceps:** anyway who else should we make fun of today

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** aaron

 **thestraightminyard:** babe please,,,,

 **fuckbitchesgetmoney:** sorry but like,, ur rlly out here being cishet in 2019. Cannot imagine that folks. Cant imagine.

 **morophobe:** god aaron whys your girlfriend so cool but you're just a little gremlin

 **morophobe:** your brother too. hes cool I guess but you. you're just a little shit boy

 **thestraightminyard:** shut up neil you only like him for his butt anyway

 **morophobe:** maybe so. what about it.

 **andruwu:** how dare you aaron

 **andruwu:** he likes my biceps too

 **itsyaboyd:** yeah man everyone does you're built like a shit brickhouse

 **andruwu:** matt

 **andruwu:** matt do not bring up quadzilla

 **itsyaboyd:** ur thighs too bro. fucken quadzilla over here

 **itsyaboyd:** damn it

 **andruwu:** I'm straight up not having a good time rn

 **hornyrights:** wow dude ur straight ://

 **morophobe:** damn dude why didnt you tell us smh

 **andruwu:** yeah sorry guys I pretended to be gay for internet clout 😳😔

 **trojean:** what the fuck is happening

 **notjeremy:** oh I'm sorry jean are you a homophobe

 **trojean:** well I am now

 **hornyrights:** honestly that's fair and me too

 **damnwilds:** an alignment chart that has "gamer, cowboy, surfer" on one side and "homophobic, feral, dumbass" on the other

 **notjeremy:** is my team the surfers

 **damnwilds:** yeah ur californian

 **damnwilds:** I dont know what else you guys do besides eat kale and use 80s slang

 **trojean:** no you're right that's literally all they do

 **notjeremy:** yeah that's all we do

 **notjeremy:** it's pretty epic

 **exyllent:** yeah you're pretty epic

 **exyllent:** haha I mean like

 **exyllent:** all californians are epic haha

 **bibiceps:** holy shit

 **trojean:** oh i see

 **trojean:** so like kevin has a crush on jeremy right

 **exyllent:** HAHA WHAT

 **davidwymack:** jesus christ

 **notjeremy:** 😳👉👈

 **notjeremy:** kev what if we kissed 💋💋 on the exy field 😳😳 ( and we are both boys ) 😱😱

 **exyllent:** holy shit

 **davidwymack:** no I'm not going to deal with this

 **exyllent:** holy shit

 **davidwymack:** my son is an absolute disaster jeremy PLEASE try and bone him where I dont have to fucking deal with it

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 11 other for 5 hours_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its brain cells shutting down hours. Anyway this chapter is very domestic and nice and I hope all u sexy beasts out there enjoy reading it  
> Kudos/comments are appreciated I love hearing feedback bc I'm a narcissist and I love reading every comment a million times  
> Follow me on tumblr @transneiljosten or on my main for like anime n shit @vapegodreigen but please read my links before u do


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trojean: can I have one day of peace from you people  
> bibiceps: oh I'm sorry, homophobe  
> trojean: I hate gay people so much its unreal  
> notjeremy: I'm going to expose you on twitter now so I can finally pass you in followers  
> trojean: do it I'll just tell everyone you're a clout chaser

**morophobe:** just bought a sword motherfuckers

**hornyrights:** wow!

**hornyrights:** baby has acquired a sword, somehow!

**andruwu:** I feel like I need to specify that it isnt just a sword its this sword

**thestraightminyard:** we're just gonna let him be anime on main now huh

**morophobe:** shut up aaron you have no idea what zabuzas done for the gay community

**notjeremy:** who's done more for the LGBTs? Like for james charles, rt for zabuza

**hornyrights:** rt

**morophobe:** rt

**andruwu:** rt

**whatifwekissed:** rt

**fuckbitchesgetmoney:** rt

**(andwearebothgirls):** rt

**bibiceps:** rt

**itsyaboyd:** rt

**exyllent:** rt

**knifelesbian:** rt

**damnwilds:** rt

**morophobe:** he just has sharp teeth and a big ass sword and I just think that's neat

**andruwu:** you're such a fucking idiot

**andruwu:** that thing was $85

**notjeremy:** $85 well spent andrew

**exyllent:** you're a fucking idiot

**whatifwekissed:** neil 🤝 jeremy 🤝 awful spending habits

**bibiceps:** andrew 🤝 kevin 🤝 being in love with idiots

**morophobe:** shut up

**notjeremy:** shut up 😳

**andruwu:** shut up

**exyllent:** shut up

**morophobe:** okay but to be fair I've never had money that I could actually spend for fun

**hornyrights:** and yet you spend it on ugly sun hats and floral shirts and crocs

**morophobe:** okay well first of all andrew bought me the sun hats and it's bc sun glasses are harder for me to see through so shut up

**morophobe:** and second of all crocs are comfortable and you're just jealous

**whatifwekissed:** I wish sara would buy me nice things smh 😔

**whatifwekissed:** instead they refuse to put socks on and touch me with their cold fucking feet every night

**notjeremy:** you're really hung up about the feet thing huh

**(andwearebothgirls):** asshole I bought us matching shirts the other day :(

**whatifwekissed:** they had minions on them

**morophobe:** oh?

**andruwu:** no

**andruwu:** we've been over this before neil

**damnwilds:** god too bad the trojans + katelyn werent here when andcrew got super drunk and neil exposed himself for sending minion memes in dms

**damnwilds:** that shit was so funny

**morophobe:** I'll have you know I havent sent a minion meme I'm like 2 months bc you guys keep clowning me for it

**andruwu:** that's a lie

**whatifwekissed:** exposed

**(andwearebothgirls):** baby what if I sent you minion memes in the dms 😳

**whatifwekissed:** matching shirts are one thing sara but memes are crossing the line

**(andwearebothgirls):** she never appreciates anything I do 😔

**whatifwekissed:** you asked me out by asking if I wanted to go to a vape shop with you sometime and then wore heelys on the first date and gave me a ring pop

**(andwearebothgirls):** and you're saying that isnt absolute goals

**whatifwekissed:** no it is I was bragging about it love you 

**itsyaboyd:** okay that wins for best get together story here

**itsyaboyd:** like jeremy and kevin got together bc all of us were sick of kev making cyber goo goo eyes

**exyllent:** listen,

**itsyaboyd:** nicky's story is really sweet but it makes me to emotional every time so

**hornyrights:** when bae lich rally saves your life 😳😍

**bibiceps:** me and renee got together bc she gave me her umbrella one time while it was raining so that my hair wouldnt get ruined and I made out with her on the spot

**itsyaboyd:** literally aaron just pined after kate for months and made all of us put up with it

**fuckbitchesgetmoney:** dw the vixens share your pain

**itsyaboyd:** I dont even know how andrew and neil got together but I know they arent cool enough for heelys, vaping, and ring pops

**morophobe:** yeah we literally just started making out one day and that was that

**andruwu:** I feel like that was the most bare minimum of a summary you couldve given but yeah

**andruwu:** oh btw allison I've been meaning to tell you this in case you need a reason to bully him again but kevin actually knew about us before all of you

**bibiceps:** oh that's very interesting kevin

**morophobe:** lmao that shit was funny

**exyllent:** they were arguing about if honey mustard or tangy bbq was the superior mcdonalds dipping sauce

**exyllent:** and I told them that they needed to get their act together and be civil if we wanted to get this shit show of a team working

**exyllent:** and then they just laughed in my face for a solid 10 minutes and then made out

**damnwilds:** legends

**damnwilds:** but also honey mustard

**andruwu:** dan do not do this

**morophobe:** haha told you

**andruwu:** that's it.

**andruwu:** I'm taking my minecraft bed and I'm moving it to the other side of the cottage.

**morophobe:** you wouldnt dare

**notjeremy:** wow way to break the poor man's heart

**morophobe:** wow okay now the house looks like absolute garbage thanks for that

**morophobe:** seriously I built this room specifically for two beds and now theres just a blank spot next to mine what the fuck am I supposed to do about that andy

**morophobe:** just fuck up all my interior design why dont you

**andruwu:** drama queen 

**thestraightminyard:** andrew you moved your bed bc of dipping sauce discourse

**andruwu:** and what about it

**trojean:** can I have one day of peace from you people

**bibiceps:** oh I'm sorry, homophobe

**trojean:** I hate gay people so much its unreal

**notjeremy:** I'm going to expose you on twitter now so I can finally pass you in followers

**trojean:** do it I'll just tell everyone you're a clout chaser ****

**bibiceps:** everyone already knows that jean

**notjeremy:** californians literally only care about clout and vibes dude summer vibes

**exyllent:** I've made an awful mistake

**exyllent:** hello california can I return this boyfriend I have the receipt

**itsyaboyd:** damn lots of break ups in that chat tonight can we get an L 🤘😔

**damnwilds:** L

**whatifwekissed:** L

**knifelesbian:** L

**knifelesbian:** ets go lesbians

**whatifwekissed:** hell yeah

**(andwearebothgirls):** hell yeah

**andruwu:** babe I feel like youd enjoy this one

**andruwu:** WAIT NO

**andruwu:** OH FUCK

_**andruwu** has left the group_

**bibiceps:** LMAO

**hornyrights:** MOTHERUFCKER EXPOSED HIMSELF GLVOVOIFJCJXJ

_**bibiceps** has added **andruwu** to the group_

**bibiceps:** ANDREWS BEEN THE ONE SENDING MINION MEMES THIS WHOLE TIME

**andruwu:** this is the worst day of my life

**davidwymack:** yeah me too

**notjeremy:** oh haha hey coach sir how are you sir

**notjeremy:** nice groupchat you have haha

**davidwymack:** it's really not

**whatifwekissed:** hey mr wymack before we get muted can I just ask one question real quick

**davidwymack:** you'll just bother me until I let you ask it anyway

**whatifwekissed:** are you into fitness?

**whatifwekissed:** fitness dick in yo mouth LMAOOOOOO

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 11 others_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy folks I know it's been a month but college really be like that sometimes. I write all of these chapters very late at night and I know they're like technically ooc or whatever but tbh noras afraid of the power my mind holds  
> Kudos/comments are appreciated I'm a narcissist and I love reading what yall liked   
> Follow me on tumblr @transneiljosten or on my main @snuffedkinned for anime n shit but read my links before you do


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bibiceps: you know what I'm gonna say it  
> bibiceps: andrew dresses like an eboy  
> hornyrights: HAHDHDHSHXHS YEAH  
> andruwu: what  
> andruwu: no

**andruwu:** good afternoon thotties

 **exyllent:** I am literally begging you to be quiet

 **notjeremy:** no wait let the man speak

 **andruwu:** met a dumbass today. awful.

 **morophobe:** you looked in a mirror?

 **andruwu:** I'm gonna tear you apart molecule by molecule

 **hornyrights:** as much as I enjoy this lovely exchange I have urgent news.

**hornyrights:**

**notjeremy:** filthy kevin

 **morophobe:** dirty andy

 **andruwu:** vibes

 **exyllent:** vibes

 **hornyrights:** everyone else shut up we're vibing rn

 **whatifwekissed:** baby can we vibe like that

 **(andwearebothgirls):** *vibes with you*

 **trojean:** I'm glad you're all vibing

 **trojean:** I hate all of you

 **bibiceps:** okay homophobe 🙄

 **hornyrights:** okay wait no I vibe with that I hate gay people

 **thestraightminyard:** if I have to see the word vibe one more time I'm gonna go fucking balls to the walls apeshit

 **bibiceps:** shut the fuck up you straight little bitch you can't vibe with us you wouldnt understand

 **thestraightminyard:** dont be fucking rude

 **bibiceps:** literally you're twins w the meanest person in this group you dont get to say that to me

 **morophobe:** andrews not the meanest it's just his face

 **andruwu:** fuck off

 **morophobe:** nvm allison tear this bitch to shreds

 **andruwu:** I'll kill u one day neil I really will

 **morophobe:** good luck with that only god can kill me now and I hold no fear towards her any longer

 **notjeremy:** okay that's hardcore

 **morophobe:** thanks

 **andruwu:** hes not harcore he wont even let me commit arson

 **morophobe:** that's a lie I completely endorse arson just not when its MY clothes you're trying to burn

 **andruwu:** camoflauge shirts are a crossed line neil

 **andruwu:** I can take a lot of shit but camo shirts are the final straw

 **hornyrights:** why they make you so mad if you can't even see them 🤔🤔

 **andruwu:** I've had it with you people

_**andruwu** has left the group_

_**morophobe** has added **andruwu** to the group_

**morophobe:** sorry not all of us can have fashion senses 🙄

 **andruwu:** clearly

 **bibiceps:** you know what I'm gonna say it

 **bibiceps:** andrew dresses like an eboy

 **hornyrights:** HAHDHDHSHXHS YEAH

 **andruwu:** what

 **andruwu:** no

 **andruwu:** I do not

 **morophobe:** the fuck is an eboy

 **andruwu:** I'll tell you later babe but they're lying anyway

 **bibiceps:** tell me andrew doesnt dress like this

**morophobe:** HE DOES LMAO

 **andruwu:** I'm gonna break up with you

 **morophobe:** THE TSHIRT OVER THE LONG SLEEVE 

 **morophobe:** THE CHOKER

 **exyllent:** andrew do you use tik tok too

 **hornyrights:** guys let's not forget the painted black nails and excessive rings

 **andruwu:** i 

_**andruwu** has left the group_

_**morophobe** has added **andruwu** to the group_

**whatifwekissed:** lmaooo jean dresses exactly like this too

 **(andwearebothgirls):** u two are vibing 😳

 **trojean:** no

 **andruwu:** no

 **bibiceps:** andrew 🤝 jean 🤝 gay eboys

 **andruwu:** me? gay? allison I think you have the wrong man

 **hornyrights:** and just let neil fucking die????

 **morophobe:** no wym we're straight

 **morophobe:** *calls you babe but in a bro way*

 **andruwu:** allison we just fist bumped eachother, would a couple of homosexuals do that?

 **bibiceps:** that's not what you guys told me when you pushed your minecraft beds together 🙄🙄

 **morophobe:** oh fuck she got us there you cant no homo minecraft bed sharing 😔😔

 **notjeremy:** can you no homo real bed sharing???

 **hornyrights:** duh

 **hornyrights:** you never cuddled ur homie before? 

 **hornyrights:** theres nothing gay about your bro coming down with a cold and so you gently nurse him back to health by giving him medicine and making sure his fever doesnt get too high and making him soup and then cuddling with him at night so he doesnt accidentally kick the blanket off and get cold

 **notjeremy:** okay fair

 **trojean:** I really

 **trojean:** I'm at my limit with you people

 **exyllent:** vibes

 **trojean:** you think you're funny? you think this is some clever little joke? huh? you think this is the circus?

 **bibiceps:** clown kevin au where we all call him a clown instead of a bitch

 **exyllent:** fuck off

 **andruwu:** 🤡  <\- kev

 **morophobe:** 🤡

 **hornyrights:** 🤡

 **thestraightminyard:** 🤡

 **damnwilds:** 🤡

 **itsyaboyd:** 🤡

 **notjeremy:** baby I'm so sorry but

 **notjeremy:** 🤡

_**exyllent** has left the group_

_**notjeremy** has added **exyllent** to the group_

**exyllent:** are you done

 **bibiceps:** for now

 **exyllent:** thanks

 **bibiceps:** dont thank me yet

 **bibiceps:** in this gc we oppress clowns, eboys, and gamers

 **hornyrights:** uh oh gamers we're in trouble

 **whatifwekissed:** gamers are the most oppressed class.

 **(andwearebothgirls):** baby your brain...

 **(andwearebothgirls):** *makes out with you in roblox*

 **hornyrights:** okay vibes

 **notjeremy:** gamers sound off

 **notjeremy:** we need to unionize and overthrow our oppressors

 **bibiceps:** jeremy you know I love you

 **bibiceps:** but if I have to see you say gamer rights one more time I'm gonna make a callout on Twitter

 **whatifwekissed:** callout for jeremy knox hes a gamer and also dates kevin day? who knows why 

 **exyllent:** fuck off

 **notjeremy:** 😔

 **notjeremy:** kev they just dont vibe with us

 **(andwearebothgirls):** it's because we've met you

 **hornyrights:** try being on a team with him he is unbearable

 **hornyrights:** shoutout to neil for being neil but also for being vice captain and making kevin fortnite dance

 **exyllent:** hes gone MAD with power

 **morophobe:** I have a lot of beef with you from last year that I need to work out ://

 **hornyrights:** okay but to be fair here I know we all call kevin the drama queen here

 **hornyrights:** but like literally my second impression of neil ever was when he picked the lock to our dorm and threw the door open to yell at kev in french and stomp away so I mean

 **morophobe:** lmao

 **morophobe:** I forgot about that

 **morophobe:** ah the good old days when I could throw open a door and yell in foreign languages and people thought it was mysterious and intimidating and not an every day activity 😔

 **notjeremy:** he does that shit every day now?

 **bibiceps:** hes gay and dramatic do you know how many times a day we hear him complaing over dumb shit in german or something

 **hornyrights:** the folks downstairs hate us oops

 **hornyrights:** but also to be fair I think everyone in this dorm just hates us anyway from last year and also we're us

 **bibiceps:** throwback to aaron and neil deciding to have a throwdown in the football hallway 🤪

 **thestraightminyard:** fun times

 **thestraightminyard:** can we do that again

 **andruwu:** no that's my boyfriend

 **morophobe:** wait no I want to fight him

 **andruwu:** no that's my brother

 **thestraightminyard:** lame

 **morophobe:** lame

 **morophobe:** omg we're vibing

 **thestraightminyard:** I'm blocking you

 **notjeremy:** neil I'll vibe with you

 **davidwymack:** what the fuck is happening

 **davidwymack:** can we go one day? literally just one?

 **notjeremy:** mr coach sir why dont you try vibing with us

 **notjeremy:** I'm extending my vibes dude feel my vibes

 **davidwymack:** kevin

 **exyllent:** what

 **davidwymack:** this one. really.

 **exyllent:** dont be rude hes californian

 **exyllent:** they're just like that

 **andruwu:** hey i just want to say before coach mutes us, i want all the californians here to know that i think they are lesser beings than me thank you and goodnight

 **whatifwekissed:** *nods sagely*

_**davidwymack** has muted **exyllent, damnwilds,** \+ 12 others_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmk if u vibed w this chapter 😳  
> I know this one took a while to update but every time I saw andrew saying good morning thotties I literally lost my fucking mind  
> Anyway kudos/comments are appreciated I love reading everyones comments they feed my ego  
> Follow me on tumblr @transneiljosten or on my main for anime shit @geckoed


End file.
